Wow, FOX News is getting more ridiculous by the day!! ISLAMIC RADICALS INFILTRATE US CAPITAL MARKETS Published September 19, 2014 F0XNews New York - Islamic radicals have advanced their cause by penetrating the U.S. capital markets. Operation Alibaba was launched precisely at 11:54 a.m. with a thunderous bell ringing. The launch, the biggest in US financial markets history, caused panic and mayhem throughout Wall Street. “The radical Islamic connection to the Alibaba IPO is crystal clear” said Josh Towinisky, Chief US Regulator. “I mean Ali, the name of the 4th Islamic Khilafa and common Muslim name, is right there in the first three letters. For us to deny this as anything but a radical Islamic operation is to be naive at the risk of safety.” Pressed to provide more on the connection, Mr. Townstein stated additional allegations were currently being vetted by Karl Rove, former advisor to President Bush. “An IPO of this size could certainly not have been underwritten by only one terrorist entity. My guess is that this was a joint effort by ISIS and Al-Qaeda” said FBI Securities Analyst Marcus Domount. Floor traders at the New York Stock Exchange had mixed feelings about the launch. “I think it’s great for the markets. To get this country going again, we need to see a little more blood on the Street. Proverbially speaking of course” said Dan Gaffe, NYSE Senior Trader. “The current stock price is a killer deal. Again, proverbially speaking. “This is the most outrageous issuance I’ve been a part of it. I have no idea how this made it all the way through. The valuations on Alibaba in no way support the inflated stock price its going for right now. Have you looked its P/E ratio? You definitely won’t get the bang for your buck with this stock. You will only get a bang…… if you get my drift” exclaimed Isaac Heinstein, from Highland Park, NJ. Meanwhile, conservative commentators throughout the country blasted the IPO, with many blaming President Obama for creating a culture of too much tolerance. Here I am a white blooded pure American and cant even purchase an NFL team. Yet these towel heads can march right in and gain access to our capital markets!? This is sheer lunacy. I call for an immediate deployment of the army to the New York stock exchange and for the creation of a fence around it said controversial radio host Rush Limbaugh, who seemed to confusingly mix in the illegal border crossing issue with the IPO. Folks. I am telling you right now. Unless you aspire to be the CTO of this jihadi company, Chief Terror Officer, you better not purchase any shares. AliBaba was up 37% to 93 Dinars in early trading.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 16:38:17 +0000
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