Wow!!! I am soo enjoying Chi-Chis #WhenAWomanRefusesToBuildWithYou series... The ones below tripped me the most; 1. Then, some of his friends who were conveniently absent during his broke-behind years will say, Leave it for God. Which God? Wasnt it the name of that same God, that the man begged you (his so-called friend) for a loan & you refused? Now, hes made it & youre remembering God, just to make God complicit in your wickedness. And you, stupid man - youve forgotten who was there for you, when the chips were down. One of the things I like about women is that some of us dont bother to pretend that weve forgotten. If youre part of our struggle, we remember. If you made the struggle worse, when we make it, we remind you that weve not forgotten. Its not unforgiveness; its self-preservation. 2. Fact is - some dudes will leave a woman who helped them make it. After they make some money, everyone will start hearing about the womans flaws - real & imagined. This is the same woman who was nwanyi oma (good woman) when the guys behind was so broke that even poor people called him broke-n. 3. When a woman cannot build with you, that is a manifestation of her assessment (rightly or wrongly) of YOUR CHARACTER. This is what she is saying, Dude, I do not trust you. 4. What about when she lied to her friends who were contributing money for aso-ebi; she really wanted that lace material but she knew you couldnt afford it. So instead of exposing you to ridicule (after all, all her friends men have more money), she lied & said she was travelling with you on the weekend that the aso-ebi would have been worn. None of your sisters called her desperado, then. What about when your own so-called friend offered her money to solve your financial worries, if only she would sleep with him? He even told her, My friend that youre with, is just useless. Come, let me show you how a real man treats a woman. Or she went and sold her wrapper. Or she went & lied to her father, because she knew that if she told him the truth, he would send her brothers to remove his precious daughter from the house of a man who couldnt even feed her. But you came home that day and ate. Nobody asked her about her self-esteem, then. Nobody asked her... 5. If she is not a nun, living in a convent, who has taken a vow of poverty, please dont act like she is blind & doesnt like physical things. Every woman has a thing. If its not shoes, its bags. If its not jewelry, its cars. If its not houses, its books that can cost you two months salary. You get the picture. Some chics have more than one thing. When you meet a woman who has not taken a vow of poverty, but claims not to have a thing, youre looking at: - a liar who is trying to lie to herself - a woman who hasnt figured out what her thing is. Both are very dangerous. 6. It is baffling when someone says, She was with him when he was poor. Now hes rich, theyre still together. Hes a saint. Youre not a saint when you return what was given to you, with interest. If in doubt, inquire at your nearest bank. 7. The fact that others may be playing the fool, doesnt impute sainthood onto you for doing the right thing. When a man pays his kids tuition fees, he is doing what he is supposed to do. The fact that other fathers are defaulting, does not mean you deserve a medal for doing right by your kids. Youre not doing them a favor. In the same way, when a woman invests in you, youre not doing her a favor by showing returns. Youre doing yourself a favor because the farmer who keeps vigil over a certain crop on their farm is in the best position to uproot it & plant something else, if the first crop is too sickly, weak or just plain refuses to yield fruit. Chai!!!
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 17:13:54 +0000
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