Wow...I had a sort of epiphany last night as I reflected on the positive changes I have made in my life since I surrendered my will to God back in 2006, and gave Him my struggles with prescription drug addiction back in 2010. Only He could have pulled me out of the depths of the hell I was in. As I shared in a meeting about having lost 175 pounds, I got very emotional because I suddenly realized that I physically lost an entire person, and that person was the *old* Kathy. The dysfunctional, miserable, ashamed, depressed, disabled, helpless, hopeless, Godless, fearful, isolated, and addicted Kathy. It just hit me hard that as I progress in my Step work, it has come time to break the lifelong emotional bond to her, and let her go. It makes me a bit uneasy because she has always depended on me for comfort, strength, patience, happiness, nurturing, and anything else I have ever done to keep her alive. But she almost killed me---her methods and practices did not work; I have to stop feeding her and start caring for the Kathy I am supposed to be in Christ...I am made anew, and I truly believe that. It just makes me feel apprehensive because I dont yet know what this new Kathy will need to stay on the right path. I must rely on Faith, not on Sight---
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 22:42:06 +0000
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