YOM KIPPUR apology Some halakhic authorities recommend that you apologize to all your friends before Yom Kippur, just in case you hurt someone unknowingly (Rema 606:2; Arukh Hashulhan, 4). Doing this via a mass email or Facebook message is halakhically permissible. If you know youve hurt someone, you absolutely should make an apology before Yom Kippur. You can do this in person, by phone, via email, Facebook, Skype, Gmail-chat, or even telegram--whatever means you want, but it should be personal. I spoke with Prof. Everett L. Worthington Jr. of Virginia Commonwealth University, a psychologist who studies forgiveness, about what makes a good and effective apology. He has a handy acronym he uses to help people remember all the steps of a meaningful request for forgiveness: C-Confess without excuse. Be specific about what you’re sorry for (Im sorry I forgot our anniversary.). Do not offer any kind of excuse. Do not let the word but come out of your mouth. O-Offer an apology that gets across the idea that youre sorry, and that you dont want to do it again. Be sincere and articulate. N-Note the other persons pain. Acknowledge that your actions were hurtful. F-Forever value. Explain that you value your relationship, and you want to restore it more than you want to hang onto your pride. E-Equalize. Offer retribution. Ask how you can make it up to the person. S-Say never again. Promise that you wont do it again (and mean it). S-Seek forgiveness. Ask the other person directly, Can you forgive me? Prof. Worthington suggests thinking through all of the steps of CONFESS before you approach the person to deliver your apology. That way, when youre speaking with him or her, youll have planned out what youre going to say, and you wont be left stammering and searching for words.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 18:12:01 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015