YOU’RE NOT LOVING ME RIGHT – How to lower your expectations without lowering your standards. We are people are inclined to our flesh. Biologically, our bodies do an impressive job maintaining and repairing themselves involuntarily- His design is unbelievable. Emotionally, socially, and mentally, we do the best we can to make sure that our needs are met and we are functioning healthily. Some of our needs are masterfully woven into our innate design and some are learned through our prideful bent toward entitlement. As Christ followers, we have a high and unnatural calling to resist our flesh and submit to a rewarding and blessed life of sacrifice. This way of life infiltrates into every compartment, but our posture of love and service toward others is the most prominent area affected. We face a daily battle as we learn to die to ourselves, and reject our natural tendencies toward selfishness, but I believe when we are spirit filled, our mentality and heart response become trained to give and experience love as God intended. It’s more difficult to receive love when we are self-centered. When we are centered in Christ, not only do we love others genuinely, but we experience love from others more fully. If we continue to look to humans for approval and fulfillment, we will continue to be disappointed. How can we lower our expectations in our interactions and relationships, without lowering our standards? 1. Trade grudges for forgiveness Forgiveness, yes it’s hard. But, may I?….When did we become so sensitive!? It seems like we are addicted to putting people on blast, developing complaints and critical judgements toward others at every turn. The negativity that we succumb to and indulge in might be affecting us more corporately than we are aware of. We are called to forgive! And when we are too easily offended, we miss out on a lot of positive relationships we could be experiencing. My closest friends are the ones who I’ve walked through conflict with and made it to the other side. His love can handle the hard conversations, the pride, the humility, the healing. We have a right to our emotions, but I believe we have the opportunity to extend forgiveness in great capacity when we bring our wounds to the cross. He gave His life for that. We have all experienced heart ache inflicted by man, some more severely than others, but when we trade in our grudges for the forgiveness that we have been given, we open our hearts to love, and to be loved fully. 2. Trade demanding for understanding The thing about those 5 love languages is that they box us in and create expectations. It’s not just the personality test, but our excessive sense of self-awareness that influences a demanding expression of love from people who are near to our heart. Why aren’t you speaking my language?! When our motive is to love others first, to understand who God designed THEM to be, we become more in tuned to their expression of love. If our focus is on ourselves, we constantly wonder why our needs aren’t being met in the way that we prefer. Intensions do hold some value. The thought DOES count. When we seek to understand others we transform our heart to be less demanding of how people choose to love us, and gain a heightened sensitivity to receive the love that they do extend. 3. Trade comparison for individuality If we are each uniquely designed, then every relationship should reflect that same degree individuality. We are encouraged to put our lives on display, making sure the highlights are broadcasted to the masses. (#blessed!). The saturation of images, public communication, and acknowledgment of others fills us with either conscious or sub conscious expectations for our lives and our relationships. How many times have you sacrificed quality time in the presence of a loved one to study the colorful lives of others? There’s no need to worry, when you focus on the here, the now, the plans that God has for you today, you will NOT miss out. We do miss out when we fall into the deceptive trap of comparison. Note- It should not make us feel better about our own lives to remind ourselves that everyone struggles whether we know exactly how they struggle or not. It should only burden us to foster deeper relationships with people to walk through difficulty alongside them. So stop your whining and experience the wholeness in the Love of Christ!
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 22:16:17 +0000
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