Yawning. All day. Stayed up until 2am last night watching The Devils Advocate. Not for stellar acting. Not for legal strategy. For Charlize Theron. For Connie Nielsen. Stumbled, half-asleep, no contacts, into the shower. See a clump of sandy brown hair over the drain. Grab down to pick it up. Hair clump scurries away. Spider. I say curse words that would make Harvey Keitel blush. I annihilate said spider, barehanded, feeling pretty damn manly. I pull my hand back, still poor vision, and a furry spider leg the size of a clarinet reaches out from under the shower curtain and bats my hand away. I say curse words that wont be invented for 127 years. My legs, already crouched down so low so I could see the hair clump spider, buckle, Im on the bottom of the shower. Fetal position. Thinking This is how I die. At the hands of a Middle Earth-sized mother spider for murdering her offspring. Thats when my black cat popped her head out from under the shower curtain and meowed, as if to say Hey Dumbass. Its just me. I do this every morning.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 18:53:05 +0000