Yea Im nuts but so what Time heals nothing but physical pain, it doesnt fix your broken emotions & it never ever heals your heartache all it does is give you more time to live with it & that sucks but like my big brother always said you still have to do what you have to do. Joey sends me a lot of signs to let me know he is with me. Yesterday when I woke up I looked on the floor & saw a mike figure that I bought him on the floor next to my bed I keep it on the top part of his dresser behind the mold of his hand & surrounded by some of his favorite super hero figures & a car he painted at chop I tried to blame it on tigger (my cat)but I realized that in order for tigger to knock it off he would have had to knock at least one other thing off with it because of where it is on the dresser & last yr when John & me were separated for a short time I was asking Joey if I should just let it go or make John come home there was a stuffed mike my sister bought joey sitting on top of a picture frame with a picture of Joey that had been there for months untouched & after I asked him the second question about John the mike doll jolted & fell off the picture frame. The day my brother died in the car on the way to the hospital about 5 mins after we found out Joey & Nicky talked to me & I really heard him & felt him & even can see him my mom & my brother for a moment I know it sounds like im crazy & at times i am but its true & the feeling that went with it was one that can not be explained. Yesterday as I was standing at Joey grave before I left I was crying & I looked at his grave marker & two drops of water fell off of it, it could of been ice melting off of it but to me that was Joey shedding tears because he saw me crying & he knew I was sad & thats one thing we never wanted for each other So obviously I stopped crying & kept looking at the marker & not another drop fell off. Everyday is a struggle for me to do most everything but I keep going I keep breathing I keep smiling because I know I am one day closer to being with Joey & because until that day I have to try & keep up with Joeys image of my strength & courage I have to keep being brave for Joey & my amazing family & friends, you all know who you are I know at times it seems like I dont express my feelings of love gratitude & pride as much as I should. Last night as I was falling asleep I could hear Joeys voice in my head saying mom we dont always have to speak our feeling out loud our souls know what our souls feel for each other. He was always much wiser beyond his nine years on this earth. I now believe that love doesnt come from our hearts but rather from our souls because our hearts stop beating but our souls live for all eternity. Our souls hold much more love & emotion than our hearts or minds can ever imagine. Ok Im done being FB cray cray now so I leave you all with a wish that you all have a great day full of love & happiness
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:46:54 +0000
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