Yes, I have made mistakes. Too many. Fortunately, Ive learned from the worst of them. There is one mistake that I have made repeatedly -- its the mistake of trust. Its the mistake of generosity. Its the mistake of giving so much of my time and energy to the needs of others that I do not leave enough for myself. I could learn to be harder. I could learn to shut down. I could learn to be less open, less giving, less trusting. I refuse to do that. So its possible I will make that same mistake again. It is because I expect the best of people. I am sometimes disappointed. Sometimes people do not live up to my expectations. (I put myself at the top of that list.) I am a perfectionist, I demand more than most machines can do, I demand more than most human beings can do. It makes me hard to deal with sometimes. And yes, sometimes I can be so incredibly focused on my own stuff, I forget to take care of the people around me. So I over-compensate. But if I were ever to shut down and stop being trusting -- then I would be shutting down the one part of myself that made it possible for me to have a great relationship with my son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law. So thats not going to happen. Im willing to make that mistake again and again and again, because the alternative is even worse.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 07:11:43 +0000
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