Yes, the government is still shut down and there’s really not much we can do about it. But you know what will take your mind off of the fact that your elected leaders have the problem solving capabilities of a socially awkward second grader? Realizing the golden opportunity before you to do stuff you couldn’t when there was a government. Such as: -You can now use the term “govern-mental” to express your grievances and people will actually find it funny because it now relates to their lives. Before they would have rolled their eyes and written you off as a nerd but WHO’S LAUGHING NOW??? You are, because it’s hilarious. -You can get people angry just by mentioning the shutdown. This is because Americans usually don’t care what their government does, but when they’re allowed to just stop working and still get paid, everyone reverts to attitude of “AW HELL NO. Girl, hold my earrings, someone’s gonna die.” -Watch in amusement as everyone and their mother’s pet cat (Kitty Purry, Adolf Kitler, Chairman Meow, take your pick) becomes a political scientist.... -You can throw political terms around that mean nothing and you can tell who actually listened in school. Example: “Well you see, if the Republicans would only stop gerrymandering the filibuster could end, at which point the Democrats (followed by the Bull Moose Party) would put into action the 32nd Amendment of the Bill of Wrongs contained in the Declaration of Interdependence guaranteeing the right of minorities to collect bear arms. Only then will this great nation again revert back to the Monarchical, Mercantilist Oligarchy we once knew and loved, invisible with liberty and just ice for all. Amen.” -You can openly and without fear of persecution quote Mean Girls on this, October 3rd, the official Mean Girls quote day! Actually you could do that before, I just wanted everyone to appreciate that for a moment…(And four more congressional votes of confidence for Obama. You go Obama!).
Posted on: Fri, 04 Oct 2013 00:23:51 +0000
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