Yesterday, Aislin Bigbee and I went to OB to surf. En route back, we went grocery shopping at Vons on Balboa. We were hectically approached by MISS FARMER from Donnie Darko, who was shaking her fist in the air and shouting at Aislin (who was in her swimsuit. Aislin is 13, and my step-daughter.) Heres how it went: Miss Farmer: THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE! IMMORAL! INAPPROPRIATE!! YOU cover THAT up AT ONCE, young lady!!! Me: What??!! Are you talking to ME?? ( :-) ) Miss Farmer: Youre (pointing at Aislin) exposing yourself, you need to cover that up! Me (pointing at her outfit): LIKEWISE, Lady! Look at you in that clown suit! You look like Ronald McDonald in a sunhat!! Miss Farmer: What did you say to me?! Me: I think you heard me loud and clear, Mister Greenjeans, even all the way back there in the 1700s! What precisely is your problem, yelling at my daughter? Miss Farmer: You should be ashamed of yourself, dressing like that in public! You dont belong here! Cover yourself up! Me: No, cover YOURself up! You look ridiculous. You dress in pitch darkness this morning, or is that supposed to be funny? (Again gesturing at her atrocious outfit) Miss Farmer started charging toward Aislin and I stepped between them... Miss Farmer: She is practically naked! Im going to have you thrown out of here! Me: Look, Miss Farmer. That which you condemn, you will become. Youre the only one here with a problem, so maybe talk to a therapist. You can take your morals and cram them just as FAAAAAR up your ass..... Miss Farmer: At least I HAVE morals!! My morals WORK! Me: Yeah, right! Im not the one fantasizing about a 13 year-old girl here. Get out of my face and get on with your judgy judgy judging! Judge away, oh Puritanical Witch-Burner! Miss Farmer stomped off. A few minutes later we ended up behind her at the checkout counter. Her husband looked embarrassed, and I couldnt help but laugh.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Jul 2014 23:16:16 +0000
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