Yesterday I brought in Kickin spiced chicken , grn peppers, onions and garlic spiced taters off the grill amd a dutch apple pie for my rascal inmate workers, They lit up. Last week and Saturday we were staining concrete with H&C solvent based stain,Well....it sucked to work with, burns your eyes, makes your nose run, its nasty, 10 hrs W 14 hrs Thurs, 10 Fri, 9 Sat,, it sucked, 160 gallons by hand, so I wanted to do something for them, and I wanted to do something for Pauls B day. I normally dont tell them about my brother, but I have known these guys for a while. So when they asked how he died, and I told them. it got really quiet, respectfully quiet, Not one of them asked how it happened as far as details, I respected that, The way it got quiet, I could not ask for more, Remembrance,respect. appreciation for life, appreciation for what you do, appreciation for what others give you, thanks for the day your in, Thanks for where you were in your life, and where you are now, Thanks for changing or being able to change yourself or show you can change( for myself and these inmates).Thanks for having a brother whos heart I never never really knew in life, but learned from in stories and in conversations with his friends after his death. What people told me , I never knew, I know now, Yesterday was perfect in that way. Yesterday I knew I have come a long way in coping with it, I know I have grown, and I know what I do is right, its right for me, And that makes me happy. That gives me peace, My message to you? What ever has happened in your life, learn from it, use it, nurture it, lead by example. You can sit on your ass and feel bad about things in your life, or you can change them. People probably think I am sad a lot by what I write, thats not really true, sure I grieve my losses, but man I have found something so wonderful I always feel a need to share it. There is something about being able to hold your head up, and strut down the street like a pimp when you realize where you were and where you are now,,and trust me I do the pimp strut :) Its kind of like listening to the blues,,and being happy, Ironic yes? You walk like a pimp because you realize,,you got it all, and life is good,,its a good walk, a proud walk :) The thing is, you have to do something to feel good about to do the strut, and when you do, and the sun hits your face just right on a beautiful day its the best feeling in the world :) Yesterday was like that, So after we ate, had or silent moment of reflection, I walked away like a pimp. lol......feeling good and whistling this with a huge shit eating grin on my face:
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 08:18:41 +0000
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