Yesterday I marched in the Gay Pride Parade in Durham, NC. It was a gorgeous day, and the mood was high with everyone so happy to be out in the sun sharing their freedom of expression and support for each other. Naturally, there were the protesting Christ-ies at a few points along the route, but not in the droves I had originally expected. As my section of the parade neared the finishing point, one of the protesters approached us and started screaming the usual rhetoric: Hell awaits you! Repent or Burn! Your pride and good times dont matter because GOD is coming and then youll know PAIN! He even followed us on the side for a bit, waving his bible high in the air continuing to bellow insults. So what did we do? We started singing to drown him out, and it was great to hear a few people on the sidewalk sing with us. Thats the kind of support you hope for at an event like that. But what stood out for me was something he shouted when there was a break in our song: We know youre all just going to kill yourselves anyway, like that homo Robin Williams! Wow, dude. This has me thinking: Was he so angry in our ignorance of him, in our determination not to give him deference and unite in something joyful, that he needed to say the worst thing possible? Probably. And Ive asked this question before: What happens if everyone repents and they have nothing left to fight? Would they implode without their purpose? Hopefully. However, since we know that very few if any of us are going to repent for being gay, thats not a possibility for their going away. Pity. My real point for this is not about what he thinks of us, or wishes on us. His opinion doesnt matter. What occurs to me most is what it can say about the passionately-charged human mind, our ability to strike out in the absolute worst possible way we can muster when we feel we are owed a certain response from another and we dont get it. I even wonder if he would have preferred violence against us over hateful words were there not laws in place that would send him to jail. Too many recent incidences in the news would suggest that some see no reason, not even the threat of incarceration, not to use violence against those who are different. And again, to what end? Are we all, at core, so desperate to be noticed and validated in our stances that when we arent heard and acknowledged we lose our shit? Does someones turning away from us because they dont align with us cause us to retaliate because we have the innate potential to see their ignorance as an act of aggression? Or is that kind of thinking just a product of an immature mind, one still steeped in ego and id? I tend to think its that ego and id thing, largely, because I have found that those who are able to find solace within themselves, with who they are, realize that their opinions dont matter until theyre asked for, and unless those opinions are helpful and constructive. And even then, all opinions are relative. What matters is how we treat others who are trying to actualize their differences in ways that dont harm others. Even though I am generally opposed to violence, I am quick to consider aggressive retaliation (particularly verbal evisceration, no surprise there) to shut down a violent or cruel person. I realize, too, that my consideration of violence is reactive and potentially more destructive, but it comes down to a basic premise that makes sense to me: Do no harm, but take no shit. I keep this idea in my mind because I wonder if, in simply ignoring others who are acting out against us, are they learning any lessons? Are we? You know I love opportunities for learning, and you know its true that what you give energy to will give energy back to you, which is why an argument can only last if two parties continue to throw fuel on its fire. But the older I get, the more I realize the futility in arguing any point. Most people really do believe only what they want until they have some direct experience that shakes them into a new belief structure, or the mere passage of time teaches them that their personal absolutes and definites dont mean shit for anyone else unless someone else is in that relative space with them and willing to listen. Which is why, I suppose, the mere ignorance of people with whom we do not align might be the best lesson for them if, over time, they begin to ask: Where did everyone go?
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 15:10:23 +0000
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