Yesterday, as I was on my way to pick up my son to move him back home, I stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank. It was cold, foggy, blustery, drizzly---the weather most definitely matched my mood. I was tired from not sleeping well, and feeling nervous, anxious and very uncertain of myself. My fibromyalgia is angry and flaring....my heart feels like its going to fly out of my chest.....and I am standing there pumping this gas wondering how in the hell I am going to readjust to all of the upcoming changes in my home? AND still stay on my path of health and wellness? Am I strong enough? Capable enough? DETERMINED enough.....to keep going? I admit that at that moment, standing there in the rain and cold, I was doubtful. I went up to the counter to pay, and the cashier (who has been staring at me the whole time I was pumping gas), smiles at me. She keeps looking up at me, smiling big and genuinely, and I can tell she wants to say something. And she does: Mam, I LOVE your hair. It is the coolest thing I have ever seen! In all of my melancholy introspection I had totally forgotten that my hair is neon pink, and folks are bound to be staring at me. I chuckled a little bit and thanked her, and said something about how I was experimenting with different hairstyles/colors, etc. She gave me my receipt and as I was walking away, she called after me, still grinning, Its not your hair. Its YOU. You walked in here and it made me feel good to see someone making the effort to be happy in life. I think YOU are as bright as your hair! (it is now definitely on the list of nicest compliments Ive ever received mental list) I was beyond humbled and grateful for such a compliment. I thanked her profusely, trying not to let her see the tears welling up, and told her how much I needed that on this particular day. That woman saw what lies beneath my current distress: She saw that I do, indeed, MAKE THE EFFORT TO BE HAPPY IN THIS LIFE. And that what we put out there....what we represent....what we do....how we carry ourselves....how we react to our environment.....who we are beneath the surface..... It matters. People see it. She saw how much I care about living as best as I can no matter what circumstances might be hindering my spirit. No matter how much I may have been doubting myself at the time; she saw that I was still trying. Still moving forward. Still living alongside lifes challenges. And it made her smile. :)
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 16:01:57 +0000
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