Yesterday was a great. Day. I have been praying and struggling spiritually for the last three and a half months. I pray every morning and night. I do my 4 to 5 classes a semester and take a break in the summer. The spiritual desert is tough ....praying with no results and struggle of doubt. Confusion ,,anxiety and Mis steps. It was worth it in the end. As an 18 year old. I had the confidence and arrogance of King David,King Henry the 8th , King Midas and King Solomon. I took what I wanted. I strode as an agnostic, took with the confidence of a grifter and loved like a rock star. It was about me and no one else. I did not suffer fools and was difficult to family and friends unless their was something for me. I look at Myself 32. Years later and it is aboit serving others and it is about loving all as my brothers , my sisters , and my mother and father. Love all as Jesus loved ...as a faithful servant. Forgiving 70 times 7 .i discovered this week that I have come a long way because of the graces and blessings and guidence of The Lord and not anything I have done. It is not about me. Me -- I am still that 18 year old. Still? Yes. The insight I received is that confidence and joy and righteousness is knowing that even as sinners and grifters we are sure of the mercy and love of our father in heaven. We are on top of the world because our Christ has had his victory over death and sin. We as his son are not the prodigals brother pouting about not having a goat. We are given all the Fathet has. Not a gospel of claim and grab but a gospel of confidence and joy that even though we will have trials and sorrows we are the victors of love and mansions in heaven. We are blessed with so much we could burst ,amen and amen. Lets go take up our cross and run the race with our laurels on our head. Be blessed and be a blessing.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 13:18:41 +0000
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