Yesterday, we drove past 318 Richwood and my daughter Zara, who is almost four years old, said Daddy, theres your big red house, but you dont live there anymore. You live with us now. I have to admit, it gave me pause. I cant count the number of days I left for work before she awoke and didnt come home until well after she had gone to bed, or the nights I slept a few hours on that old couch in the dining room and worked straight through a few days without going home at all. There is an old saying in our profession: You cant be a good Chef and a good father. These days that can be amended to good parent but the rest still stands. A Chef who isnt willing to put in eighty hour weeks will soon find himself unemployed, or if he owns his own place, bankrupt. A stock question in job interviews is Do you have children?; fair or not, those without families will always get preference for the job. Last week our son Kai was born, and because I am gloriously unemployed for the first time in a decade, Ive been making up for everything I missed when Zara was born. As is typical of this business, my sous-chef quit the day she was born, and I worked doubles every day for the next few months. I dont tell you this looking for sympathy, only as a simple fact of the life Ive chosen. Anyway, last night, I watched The Other F Word, a documentary about Dads who also happen to be in punk rock bands. These are the bands that I grew up with, that helped me forge the independent DIY ethos that I still live by today, and are facing the same quandary as I am: How to grow up and keep your morals and standards while trying to raise and provide for a family. I highly recommend this movie, even if youve never heard of any of these bands. Regardless of the medium it represents, its a great story of art verses reality, and how to reconcile the two. I promise you will laugh often, and if you can get through it without shedding a few tears, youre tougher than I am. Ill admit that it didnt give me any real answers, but it certainly helped me gain a better understanding of my questions. Now, if youll excuse me, I have to go change a diaper.......
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 14:07:48 +0000
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