Yom Kipper, The Jewish Day of Atonement, like many holidays in most faiths, is replete with ritual. One of the best known associated with Yom Kippur is the ascetic practice of fasting. Second to that is asking God for forgiveness. The least well known is to directly ask people for forgiveness. It goes like this: Only sins committed again God can be forgiven by God. Sins committed against others must be confessed, and reconciliation sought from the offended party. Its only after this that forgiveness can be sought from God. These conversations are usually had during a period called Slichot, which translates to apologies. Last year I made a concerted effort to reach-out to people whom I knew Id slighted, thought I might have slighted, and even friends and acquaintances with whom there was an obvious change in our relationship but no known cause to me. (Had I done something wrong, and not realized it?) Having those types of conversations can be tough. To do it right, you must bare yourself to that person. You empower that person to either soothe your open wound, or dump a truck full of salt into it. If you go into it guarded, youre not doing it right. Depending on the situation and the people, it might be impossible to predict the outcome. I had a few surprises last year, both good and bad. Of the good ones, our relationships grew stronger. Of the bad ones, I had less closure than I would have liked, but from it, I benefitted by seeing people for who they really are. I feel that the weight in disappointment I carried away from the bad exchanges was nothing compared to the heft of the guilt Id been carrying up until then. Remember, you can bring an apology to someone, but you cant make them accept it, or admit they know exactly what youre talking about. However you choose to observe Yom Kippur: May you be granted forgiveness when earnestly sought. May you have an easy fast, if youre fasting. May you be inscribed in the Book of Life for good.
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 18:17:51 +0000
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