You Know You are a Redneck When.... 1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse... 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids... 3. Youve been married three times and still have the same in-laws... 4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night... 5. Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people... 6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean... 7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, Hey, yall watch this... 8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader... 9. Your wifes hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan... 10. Your junior prom had a daycare... 11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, Gentlemen start your engines... 12. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it... 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge... 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table... 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos... 16. You cant get married to your sweetheart because theres a law against it... 17. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk... 18. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it... 19. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.... 20. The biggest city youve ever been to is Wal-Mart... 21. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V... 22. You thought the Una-bomber was wrestler.. 23. Youve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table... 24. You think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart. 25. Your neighbors think youre a detective because a cop always brings you home... 26. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars’ worth of improvement... 27. Youve ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher... 28. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty... 29. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph... 30. Somebody tells you that youve got something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is... 31. Youve ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate... 32. You dont understand why the first 31 are not funny.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:15:13 +0000
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