You all know Im about five/six months in on a very LONG journey with weight loss. While I KNOW I am going to succeed and reach a million goals I thought were never possible for me, today I am able to recognize that the journey I was on before this (the 30+ years Ive lived bigger than everyone else) was much longer! Much tougher. Much more agonizing to be so different. To miss out on things. To be stared at. To be ignored (no matter how big I got so people couldnt ignore me). I keep hearing Katy Perrys Roar and I cant make it thru this one line (Ill get to that) without crying! They are tears of joy and hope and true faith that I am on a path that God has destined for me to be free from this body that held me safe and captive at the same time. Safe from the hurt of others because I believed that being this big meant only people who really deserved my time/attn would get close. As we all know, thats not true; people who will take advantage of others know who to prey on. Ive been taken advantage of, Ive been held down/back, Ive been hurt by those pretending to be my friends and captive because I am a hostage! I cant do many things normal people can do. I never have! While mostly it doesnt bother me, it is a truth I am facing now. I want to have the victories (believe me theres a bucket list of things Im going to do when Im thinner). But something happened in December. I am no longer a willing victim/hostage in this life! Pretty recently I heard the song sang at a slower tempo with just a piano accompaniment by one of our worship leaders middle school daughters and it just wrecked me all the way thru! I listen to it daily now and am inspired a little more every time- and filled with even more hope! Im sure youve all heard it but the lyrics are: I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath Scared to rock the boat and make a mess So I sat quietly, agreed politely I guess that I forgot I had a choice I let you push me past the breaking point I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything You held me down, but I got up Already brushing off the dust You hear my voice, you hear that sound Like thunder gonna shake the ground You held me down, but I got up Get ready cause I’ve had enough I see it all, I see it now I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar Louder, louder than a lion Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar You’re gonna hear me roar Now I’m floating like a butterfly Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes (**HERE IT IS!! This next line is my anthem**) I went from zero, to my own hero You held me down, but I got up Already brushing off the dust You hear my voice, you hear that sound Like thunder gonna shake the ground You held me down, but I got up Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough I see it all, I see it now I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire ‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar Louder, louder than a lion ‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar You’re gonna hear me roar Youre gonna hear me roar!!! So, watch out people cuz Im ROARING, fighting, dancing, [and squatting ;)], and I AM A CHAMPION! I am happy to say that EVERY DAY Im waking with the feeling that I went from zero, to my own hero! And that concludes the longest post ever!
Posted on: Fri, 23 May 2014 03:41:28 +0000
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