You are not free to say Yes until you are free to say NO Do you always give into the demands placed on you by those around you? Do you feel trapped by the wants and desires of your boss, your family, your parents, your partner? And where do you fit in when you only consider their needs? Is there even a space for you? Or do you feel that it would be selfish to look out for yourself? Even as I type this, the word ‘selfish’ draws out such an emotional response inside of me. Too many times, I have been called selfish for choosing to say ‘NO’ when those around me wanted me desperately to say ‘Yes’ They wanted me to give up who I was to accommodate their needs. They tried to guilt me into becoming what they wanted and doing what they wanted and for sooooo long, I let them. I allowed the warrior in me to sleep. I allowed the leader in me to fade away into the background because I wanted their approval, I wanted their love. One day, I said ‘Enough!’ and I started to dig myself out of that mess and little by little, freedom is being won! Don’t get me wrong – I have never been the ‘lie down and die’ type and yet I felt like two split beings. Depending on who I was with, I was either being rebellious or I was being a doormat! As always with me, there was no middle ground and ultimately, I was giving up myself in order to feel guilty as I yelled ‘NO’ or I was desperate for approval as I quietly shut myself down and said ‘OK – I will do it’ There was just no middle ground and I disliked the person I was when being either belligerent or faint-hearted. This last week, I got to speaking to an amazing powerful woman – a woman with ‘ability & leadership’ written all over her, a woman who for so long had given up herself to please and care for all those around her. And something in her clicked when she met me. The same happened to me – I knew we were linked in some way and then we talked, we had a powerful conversation and I drew out her truths. For so long, she had lived to please her parents. And then she had gone on to please her husband. And then her kids. And somewhere in the middle of all this, she had lost herself. And I resonated with that! She had forgotten what she wanted because it had become her normal to live to fulfill everyone else’s needs first. And as you read this, you may think this is the way it should be. Maybe you feel self-righteous in your giving nature and you think that laying down your life to serve others is noble in some way. But let me tell you now, YOU CANNOT LAY DOWN A LIFE YOU NEVER HAD! YOU cannot say ‘Yes’ lovingly when you don’t feel you have the choice to say ‘NO’ It is not noble what you do, it is fear-driven and/or approval seeking and it keeps you from living to your full potential and even worse than that, it keeps you from EVER feeling loved & it keeps you from feeling fulfilled in the work that you do. When will you finally say ‘ENOUGH!’? Let me say to you, what I said to this powerful lady – I WILL NOT BUY YOUR STORY! I SEE YOU! The powerful, incredibly able, fearless leader YOU! I do not see the person you have chosen to be for the last ‘God Knows how many’ years because I SEE YOU! And I CALL the ‘real you’ out! Please Stand Up! I will ask you what you no longer want and I will ask you if you are ready to say ‘YES’ to what you do want! Are you ready to take responsibility for your own happiness? Are you ready to fight through the nonsense inside of you so that you can truly contribute to the world? And in doing that, you will be able to say yes or no with no angst, no guilt, no fear, just a quiet certainty that you are finally back in control. And you will love you, and you will love people and you will be free. Warriors, Arise! PM Me If ready to join the October League Of Warriors
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 08:24:01 +0000
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