You have a deep need to be known. Within each of us there is a story that wants to be told. Intimacy means sharing our story. Sharing our story helps us to remember who we are, where we have come from, and what matters most. Sharing our story keeps us sane. Visit any mental institution and you will discover that most of the patients have forgotten their own story. They simply cannot put the yesterdays of their lives into any cohesive or structured memory. As a result they lose sight of the reference point that the past provides us in mapping our future. When we forget our story, we lose the thread of our lives, and we go mad. To varying degrees, we all forget our own stories, and to the extent that we do so we all go a little mad. Great relationships help us to remember our stories, who we are and where we have come from. And in some strange and mystical way, by remembering our stories we celebrate ourselves in a very healthy way. What’s your story? What’s your family’s story? What is the story of your relationship? It fascinates me that if you ask a couple at their rehearsal dinner to tell their story— how and when they met, when and where the proposal took place, and so on— there is a passion and enthusiasm in the telling of the story. But as the years pass, the reply to the question “How did you meet?” becomes a three-word answer, “In the library,” “On a plane,” “At a bar.” This is a classic example of how, over time, we forget our story or become immune to its power . Only by sharing our story with another will we ever feel uniquely known. Otherwise, and I assure you it happens every day, we can pass through this life and on to the next without anyone ever really knowing us. Imagine that. Imagine living your whole life and never being really known by anybody. We also have a great need to share the story of our relationships. Just as a person who forgets his story goes insane, so does a couple who forget their story. They don’t go asylum mad, but both participants in the relationship start to do crazy things that ultimately can lead to the breakdown of the relationship. Unless they can rediscover the thread of their relationship, unless they can vels of Intimacy
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 21:00:44 +0000
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