You have to be on really good cocaine to appreciate this. youtube/watch?v=q-fmhEmt_t0s I think the whole Winnie-the-Pooh thing needs to be reconsidered. A while back, someone on FB posted an apology for Eeyore, acknowledging that he’s clinically depressed, but that his friends accept him for who he is, always trying to cheer him up and take him on adventures to inspire him to have some fun. I feel this is deeply idealistic. Eeyore is in fact a pain in the ass (pardon the pun). He never thanks his friends, and does nothing to lift his mood himself, whether through medication or counseling. He’s the exact inversion of the manic Tigger, a berko fruit loop masquerading as a free spirit. Tigger also does nothing to adjust his moods and expects everyone to find him entertaining and endearing. Meanwhile, Owl is an insufferable know-it-all. Rabbit seriously needs to get out more, and Kanga is the portrait par excellence of the Whole Foods / Starbucks new mother, who feels certain the entire world should be built around her reproductive capacity. Where’s Mr. Kango? A direct attack on the sanctity of the nuclear family as God intended. And speaking of Gods, then there’s Christopher Robin, with his “Oh, Bear” condescension. What he really is is a sadist and a passive-aggressive pseudocool bully. Check out ...IN WHICH POOH AND PIGLET GO HUNTING AND NEARLY CATCH A WOOZLE. He lets his two closest friends (and that’s weird all by itself) follow their own tracks in the snow, believing they’re on the trail of a mythical beast. He only pops in and points out the error in their ways when he’s had a good enough laugh. Sick. And deeply troubling. Pooh and Piglet’s Waiting for Godot / Of Mice and Men thing doesn’t need any more commentary. My point is that the 3 Acre Wood is not the hub of harmony and innocence we might think. It’s actually a microcosm of misplaced liberal values and false tolerances. My suggestion for repair is an invasion / crossover cameo of a character such as Toad from the Wind and the Willows. He outdoes Falstaff and Frasier Crane for unctuous egotism, arrogance, and self-indulgence—but he takes the consequences. We’re not supposed to like and accept him, and yet we do. Same with Wile E. Coyote (outside of Macbeth, the most sympathetic villain of all time). Wouldn’t Billy Bob Thornton make a great Wile E. Coyote? I’d throw in Foghorn Leghorn and Dr. Ruth, and I think the 3 Acre Wood would start coming together.
Posted on: Mon, 23 Jun 2014 03:50:45 +0000
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