Your parenting path is unique to you. But to parent from the heart in the way that we as parents want and need to, in the way that our children need, it really helps to feel confident and relatively at peace with doing it our way when it’s not necessarily the norm within our family or community. Yet to feel strong and confident as parents, being only human, we do need to have at least some emotional support and backup ourselves. If we don’t have the support, we need to somehow create it. Support is a sanity saver! We all need at least someone who supports us to do it our way, be it someone who lives locally, overseas who we can ring or people in an online group, but it needs to feel personal and real and accessible in moments of high stress. Parenting is an ongoing journey of learning and growing and changing and adapting to changes in ourselves and changes in our child. We need to feel free enough to do it our way and learn from our own mistakes. To allow some enjoyment of the journey, it certainly help to not be too over stressed, stretched, scared and lacking in a sense of security and belonging ourselves, or at least not for long periods of time. “I wish!” I hear some of you say and I would have myself said at different stages on my parenting journey. Sigh! Easier said that done I know! Hence the journey! Instead of wishing we could be the perfect parent right now, it’s much healthier to settle in to the long haul journey of coming to peace with ourselves as parents, coming to peace with the shortcomings of our own childhood, which may in itself mean coming to peace with how hurt, disappointed, heartbroken, angry or outraged we feel about the wounds and unmet needs that relate back to childhood, because repressed emotions need to surface before they can be resolved. Parenting is a journey of personal growth whether we choose it or not, it’s kind of forced upon us, especially for the parents who commit to not just passing on to their children the shaming, repression, blaming, rejection and mistreatment that they themselves experienced. As soon as a parent makes a commitment to not shame or yell at their child, but to instead be more mindful and responsible with their emotions (hence modelling the same), they are immediately faced with the burning question of “but what do I do with all this frustration and anger?“, which leads a parent onto the inevitible journey of self-healing and icreased self-awareness. But when we can allow and embrace that reality, evolution, magic and healing occur. We begin to break generations of unhealthy patterns while embracing generations of positive patterns and bring it all together in a beautiful unique package that enhances our family’s uniqueness. ~ Genevieve
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 02:02:43 +0000
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