a note to women (and, to men, this time)... part three of the this version of the trilogy... at this moment... i am a bit perplexed... not completely... but... a bit... by the number of private emails that ive received regarding my last two notes... from men... of course... and, from a few women... perplexed... not by the fact that they disagreed but, by the basic beliefs that they find acceptable in the treatment of others... by the fact that getting what they want is the single most important thing to them regardless of the behavior necessary to acquire it by the women... who prefer this behavior in men... and, by the cynicism by failing to offer an opinion of their own preferring to level personal attacks and insinuations if you are one of the people who wrote and, i havent responded understand... i dont plan to... you are the reason that this trilogy was written... the topic of the day the over-arching principle is respect for me... it is a fundamental principle it takes on many forms... in differing situations... i am not perfect with it... but... it is my intention... contrary to common wisdom... i do NOT believe that respect is earned it is my default for me... you start with my respect disrespect is earned i dont care the color of your skin your religion your culture your education your wealth who you prefer to sleep with i do care about how you treat others this trilogy was initiated because i think women are, far too often, treated with disrespect especially by men... those of you that know me personally those of you that have been reading my posts for any length of time know that i find the disrespect of women unacceptable it comes out in my obsession with cabeceo i refuse to ask for a dance verbally even of a good friend who is sitting at a table with me this is likely an unnecessary extreme but... it one example of my idea of displaying respect i, never again, want a woman to dance with me because i have put her in a position where she was uncomfortable saying no... or not right now... of maybe later... it comes out in my thoughts about living by invitation which is nothing more than an extension of the cabeceo to other parts of life i want clarity in the invitations that i extend i need it because i want a clear understanding between myself and the person i have extended an invitation to the fact that i have invited for any specific shared experience does not imply anything more if my intention is for something much larger i want that understood as well that my current invitations are a way of exploring the potential for the larger possibility but, as with cabeceo my invitations are invitations yes... no... maybe later... are all acceptable answers they have to be... or it is not an invitation yes... i obviously have my preferences as i acknowledged in my second note if i have extended an invitation it is because there is an experience that i want to share with you and, unless it is some function where couples are the expected participants, i no longer find it appropriate to extend that invitation to another that is not only respect for you it is self-respect today i am comfortable doing most things alone if i invite you it is a gift to you i want you to share that experience with me if you accept that is your gift to me i only want you to share that experience if it is exactly what you want to be doing in that moment in time and, only if i am the person you want to be sharing it with i no longer negotiate a relationship i dont want a business partner in life i dont want someone with me because i am a good provider and i dont trade gifts for favors yes... i believe in chivalry i enjoy the biological, emotional and instinctual differences between men and women and, yes... i believe that for that to function well it must first be based on mutual respect and appreciation for the other person expectations because of a gift because of an invitation are unacceptable and yes... i do believe that it is a mans highest role to serve the women in his life the ones he respects it comes out in the little things yes... i believe in open a womans door not because she is unable simply out of respect and, for those that know me... i often do the same for men yes... i believe in walking a woman to her car... in making sure she gets home safely including making sure she is inside, before i pull away im not so consistent on which side i prefer a woman to walk i have come to believe in many places that i walk it is potentially more dangerous to have her near the doorways that the potential dancer does not come from the street and, that the street may be her best escape route in the event of a problem and, yes... in the little things ive been truly spoiled... by a handful of women who have retained the habit of taking my arm as we walk and, yes... i believe women have the same responsibility to display respect as a man does i owe no woman simply because she is of a different gender my default of respect appreciate it dont abuse it i do have my own level of self-respect intact the women who become important to me are active participants they express their feelings and desires equally if there is something youd like to do with me invite me a true invitation if there is something you like me to do ask as a true request i can not read minds of men or women i do need communication i find that i have extended my attitude around cabeceo to trying to entice a specific mirada as with most people i would prefer that my invitations be acceptable and will often be a bit creative in the invention of my invitations because i think the invitation is almost as important as the event it is the beginning of the experience i want at least some small indication that you to want to dance with me as much as i would like to dance with you i want at least some small indication that you to have dinner with me as much as i want to have dinner with you regardless of the experience it needs to be mutually desired which means... yes... i i will not kiss you... or more... without at least an indication or your part... that that is your desire... as much as mine... the creation of romance to me... is two people creating experiences surprising each other making each other smile by invitation with appreciation and with respect ~if youre still reading this... i also find that somewhat surprising... :-)
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 01:55:42 +0000
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