a post from TFI , too good so posting it We keep getting these inbox messages that are sometimes very encouraging, and sometimes, well, lets say they entertain the TFI admin team. But despite repeated requests, we get messages asking us about this or that personal problem. Though none of us are experts in counseling or psychology, we still try to help as best as we can. However, there are a few messages that leave us thinking. This one went My friend has changed his look and started sporting a full beard, and now he cannot hit on girls because they ignore him. Should people be so mean that they ignore a persons heart and go only by looks? I assume these guys must at best be in early 20s, most likely teenagers. Maybe the question caught me when I was in a bad mood, but heres my response - Dear Beard Boys friend Life is what it is - we cannot go about changing things and peoples preferences. Either we change according to what others like, or we stop caring and do our own thing and not whine about not being liked and accepted. You say your friend gets ignored because he has a beard, and though he has a good heart, it gets him no special treatment. Well, lets look at it this way - do you remember the last time you noticed that girl with the braces and pigtails staring at you, or how she dropped her books and ran into a wall? Yeah, she likes you and was trying to get your attention, but you didnt notice her. Dude, shes so weird! you say? Ah, but she volunteers at an epileptic society and helps her mother cook food every night for her paralytic father. So what if she stutters? Forget the fact that you would ask her to have a cup of coffee with you after knowing these facts. Would you bother finding out if she has any of these redeeming qualities, or would her awkward looks and mannerisms render her invisible to you? Thats what is happening with your friend, most probably - he has a choice. He can either stop caring about whether he is being ignored, and start developing his mind in ways that will help him later, or he can stop whining and get up and shave and do what he must to get the attention of those girls - dude up a bit. You cannot have it both ways Am I being mean? Yes, I realize I am writing more harshly than your friend deserves. However, he must realize that it is a very real world situation, and like it or not, hes another product in the market. Everyone has the ultimate choice in being interested in someone or not, and nobody owes it to anyone to be interested in them. He wants attention? Fine - then go out and earn it. Whining about how unfair life is or people are will NEVER help - not in a job, not in a relationship, and not anywhere else. PS - dont be as mean to your friend as I am being here but he does need a sharp jolt. Padhai-wadhai nahin karni hoti kya tum logon ko??
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 05:30:24 +0000
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