all at once, dawn comes and the night of nights is gone and my children are on their way to sing on bourbon street or in new york making edward come alive in shakespeares most tragic play, and my love is on her way back to kansas city to support her mom and bury her grandmother, and i am here. here. here, looking at these waves of change, noticing the burning candle on the altar to her grandmother, seeing to the dog, writing resumes and applying for jobs and trying to follow all the advice of get a job experts who talk simply of having a bullet point on the resume that addresses the requirements of the job description--and answering, in a cover letter, with a voice that addresses the same. i am trying to tone myself down. it is strange to be saying goodbye in so many airports, and not getting on any planes myself. work. money. paychecks. worth. worry. wonder. wonderment. meant. means. moments like this to think of people and places and things--here, in this livingroom, where i live and look out at the ocean. i am here. i am here with brew haha, sipping the dregs of the iced coffee from the too early breakfast drive-thru, after calling the kids in the san jose airoprt to say my goodbyes prior to dropping her off on the curb in san francisco. we used our curb time in our own, warm bed--and now she is in la, calling to say shes getting on the next plane, sharing the news of who she sat next to and what jobs might open up through that connection to someone who raises funds for teachers in kenya.... oh, africa. planes fly overhead--i see them twist in the sky toward their imagined destinations. i am here. i am here. i am here. later, i will be joined by dear friends. ill look for a new house for one and drink wine with another, and together well look out at these waves still waving--and talk and dream and wonder at the changing colors in the skys expansive way of blanketing us all. full moon soon song singing up the staircase of ones self. there is this moment in time. i am here, hearing memories and promises tell themselves to me in stories only i can make up. wake up. it is time to wake up. wake. wake and write and try and reach and desire and continue and take action and make posts and play games and remember love in all its manifestations waving, like these waves, through me. i am here. they are all in their theres, making memories and dreams. i am holding down the fort? running down a dream? being in this home weve made here together. together is my favorite way to be home. i look to the sunlight peeping through the peek holes in the front door--shining in shimmers of bursting light. here at my beginning, i begin again. again. oh, god of second chances, here i am again....
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 15:07:32 +0000
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