...but i wanna know whos checking their menfolk? ...MEN - when your dudes, your boys, your homies, your bros haul off and knock the block off a woman or child whats your reaction? how do you interact with other men who you know to be abusive? do you speak up? do you interfere? ~ Nzîngå Målîkå *Trigger Warning* Good question, Nzinga; very good question: The very first time he ever actually laid hands on me his room was home. I was visiting their apartment, an hour and a half from where I lived and went to grad school - where I owned a home. I had initially said Id stay for an extended weekend. Then my best friend decided that her low-key birthday originally with nothing planned would be a house birthday party. I didnt want to miss celebrating with her and my friends. He and I had been having some difficult conversations about our relationship and I could use a little air. When he got home from work, his roommate had already been home for about half an hour and was in his room, I was doing my hair and getting ready to leave. I had just gotten out of the shower, and was in a bath towel getting ready. He became increasingly agitated as I described the birthday party and heading back to Lansing for the rest of the weekend (it was Saturday night). As I tried to leave the bathroom and walk into the bedroom to get dressed he blocked my way. He told me I wasnt going anywhere and as I realized he was serious I got loud. Screaming for his roommate. He wont help you. He said. I struggled against a 62 200 lb man to get out of that room, screaming for help and for his roommate specially. He restrained me. He pushed me into walls. He never hit me, all the while yelling, Im not hitting you. Why are you acting like Im hitting you? Finally, he said, Well if you want to go then go, ripped off the towel that was barely hanging on at this point, picked me up and threw me into the hallway of his apartment building. At this point, his roommate comes out and tries to talk some sense into him. I hear the door lock and I lay in the hallway naked and crying. I hear them yelling, then getting quieter. I hear the door unlock and his roommate opened it. I ran in, still naked. Grabbed what I could think to grab and got dressed as I ran from building. As I pulled out of the parking lot, police cars arrived. someone had called, but I wasnt stopping. Somehow I drove the hour and a half back home. My friends were waiting for me at my home, two of them changed the locks while another sat with me upstairs until I fell asleep. Notice I said that was the first time. I had three degrees at that point. Tenure at the community college I was teaching at. A home, and was involved in my church and my community. I often wondered if that was the first time his roommate had encountered this kind of activity. If he was scared as well, or if this was their way, for him to stay out of it. I still dont know.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 15:05:28 +0000
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