cont.. The interesting thing about perception is that no matter how much you try to instil your version of events or you will onto someone else you will fail. Even if you have been trying to sway a person onto your side of awareness for years. After several years have passed you may still be shocked to find that they will have picked up some far reaching ideas that you didnt know were a part of the conversation. The other person will instil their own take onto your story no matter what you do. For example, I had not spoken to my friend for several weeks, finally I rang her and asked her opinion on a matter I had playing on my mind; she answered that and then we continued on with general conversation about whats been going on in each others lives. After 15 minutes we said goodbye and hung up. Five minutes later she rang me back and she said I had to call back and tell you how much I love you - because of how down you are at the moment. Now this is the funny part; I am currently the happiest I have been in months; this means I am not down at all about anything and I feel great; however my friend came across as being very depressed and down. If we turn up in Court next week and we all have to write an Affidavit on the other persons state of mind on the 19th of October I will say she was very low and appeared very depressed and she will say she was very low and appeared very depressed. So we will both say the same about each other. Meantime my other friends will write an Affidavit about me as well and my other friend will say she is very happy at the moment. Now the Judge had conflicting stories, one person says negative and the other person positive. If I say to the Judge she is lying the Judge has to now spend a lot more time trying to work out who is telling the truth. My friend knows what she knows. My friend heard what she heard and my friend trusts her own judgement, she believes what she perceives. Therefore she will swear black and blue that she knows that I was depressed on the night we spoke. Because WE ALL impose our feelings onto other people during communication. Therefore, we believe other people are what we are ourselves. We see in them some of ourselves. This is why I asked you at the beginning of this topic to learn how to HEAR other people and to observe your own communication with others. We need to know if we are open to hearing them or if we are actually trying to impose our feelings onto them instead. My friend means well but she refuses to listen. The Judge is a stranger, he only has her version of events to go by and my other friends version of events. The Judge will conclude that both are friends and therefore both of their versions are cancelling each other out. The Judge will order an independent officer to be brought into the ascertain my mental or psychological state and that report will be the final answer. If the Psychologist is someone I wouldnt want to speak to in the street, and we dislike each other on sight they might see things in me that I do not wish to portray but I cannot stop another person from perceiving what they will about me whether it is negative or positive. No matter how I try to convince them that I was happy on the 19th October and I am happy now, the Psychologist might read things into what I am saying based on their dislike of me, or some other thing out of my control. Relinquishing control over everything in life except for your own thoughts and deeds is paramount to happiness and well being and mental health. And this extends to conversations and communication, not forcing your opinions onto other people and instead listening to them so that you can get onto their wave length and grasp what their take on life is all about. If everyone was doing this, there would be hardly anyone in Court. CD@copyright 20/10/13
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 23:41:29 +0000
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