disability and social security applied for. should know between now and 190 days if im approved. *crossing fingers* im approved.. not only will i get it, my daughters will be getting a ssi check. never did i think i would become unable to perform normal task, like putting the girls hair in pony tails, a simple task that should take less then 5 minutes, takes me around 20. and that is on good days. never did i think at 27 years old my life would forever change. without having full use of my left arm, i am very limited at what i can do. i bite my tongue and push thru a lot of my pain, but end up regretting it when its time to lay down, because my arm hurts so bad i cannot get it comfy. the numbness in half my hand and my last two fingers are a pain. imagine half your hand asleep always, thats what i deal with daily. can you imagine doing things like scratching, or even how your wedding band feels on your hand. i cant feel my wedding band, i have to check to see if its still there, and scratching, yea next time your hand is asleep scratch something and tell me how it feels. it sucks! and there is nothing that can be done. i have severe nerve damage. when i broke my elbow, i didnt just break it, i shattered it into a million tiny pieces, along with fracturing my humerus, and having to have transposition of cranial and peripheral nerves (the nerves that run along the outside of arm known as the funny bone) to another part of my arm, which then in return caused mono-neuritis multiplex. I cannot straighten my arm all the way, and never will be able to. I cannot bend my arm all the way, and never will be able to. I cannot bear weight on my arm and prolly never will be able to, at least not supporting myself. I cannot push myself up off a chair, or the bed, or even the ground. Do you know how hard it is to get up using one arm? I mean the only reason i can drive is because i know how to drive with my knee, so its always there to help me out, plus i dont drive fast and when i have to turn i dont switch gears so i can use my right arm more. Think about it, how would it make you feel to know you could never pick your child up again when they get hurt? before the wreck i wanted to get tested and go thru the procedure and me and buddy start trying to have a baby. that has gone out the window pretty much. i mean how can i carry a baby in my arms and do things like i did before. how could i trust my arm to not do what it loves to do and have a mind of its own and release anything that i happen to being doing/carrying in that arm! I HATE THIS! I hate being held back by something that is so out of anyones control and cant be fixed. I am broken for the rest of my life. it depresses me. to the point i almost want some kind of RX to help me cope with this. I will continue living my life and I will continue to put on a happy face, and i will deal with what has happened to me, because i am alive, we both survived, and that is something, and of course my two wonderful daughters, who needs me.
Posted on: Wed, 11 Sep 2013 17:37:00 +0000
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