em one of things last night I kept hearing so much of what I was hearing was speaking directly to me. but the one message I was hearing if you give up your calling or part of your calling you are dead if you walk away from what God has ordained you to do then you are dead. This hit me as many do not know but I have been considering giving up my ministering to other sin the sense of a pastor. i have walked in this pastoral anointing for a decade or more. I have always step up to pastor others whether the churches recognized me or not. But I noticed that many times I end up pastoring or ministering to the leaders who then try to downplay my gifts in this area. Besides I get tire sometimes because it becomes hard when you are ministering to others then others who thin they have more a\of a right or they want to compete there is this competing spirit infecting American churches so instead of supporting each other it becomes a battle . I;ve seen people I reach out to start to get better start to move closer to God then bam someone who thinks they are better or I shouldn;t do anything steps in I watch it all get wash away. it breaks my heart. I am like Lord why didn;t they just leave the person be... Then there is this so many times it ends up where I may need some lifting up but I am lifting someone else up. I love pastoring but i do become weary when others are led to misconceptions about things then when they hear something they dont like it is well she is nobody. NO I do not get into titles. So I do not go in telling people to call me anything at all but I have been told at times by others including other pastors that I am a pastor one moment I am told something else. I belong in this one church where I was mostly pastoring the leaders while I was pastoring them they were pushing people in leadership roles rhat use their status to try and control me or try to get some kind of hierarchy situation. I hate the pharisees spirit i seen how that destroys churches. The point is for many reasons I was thinking of laying this down and walking away. I never ask anyone to recognized my pastor skill nor any of my gifts from God I just operate in them and still do. I have been praying though to the Lord about laying this thing down because I was I am ministering and stuff yet I am the one they turn on many times. Besides feeling a responsibility to those who I minister to . They are the sheep the Lord place under my watch they are precious as they are mine. No I am not saying I own anyone but god gives us sheep to minister to . any church or any person saying a pastors job is not to shepherd the sheep is disagreeing with the word. ... anyway I had this plan you know it was several parts one was to lay down the Pastoral thing. I was going to find me a huge church just start going not ministering to anyone outside of a counseling standpoint. Yes I am called to be a counselor that is another thing . The Lord says is He is the great Counselor as He is also the great physician he has call some of us to be counselors because some want to deny this doe snot change our calling it just means we are not supported in this part of our calling. That another status. anyway i was going to go to a different denomination because I am find9ing that the charismatic christian community in Atlanta is a small community the same gossip and slander that was in the other place has a habit of popping up ... so I thought well you know i will just change denominations. besides I \really like the baptist denominations. Sorry the people I met that are baptists have hearts to know my Lord the way i do they seek truth and justice above those other things. i am sure there is a mixed but it is a beautiful denomination . and if we are parts then the baptist is the brains of the christian body.. See it would have been perfect to put down the pastor and just hide in the huge church most likely a Baptist denomination church. ... Then last night I heard this prophet talked about me and all the struggles from the past few years with all the churches. He said someone is thinking about laying down your gifts someone is thinking of laying down the gift of pastoring he read from 2 chronicles about it said that this is when God told David he would die. He also explained the meaning of something about one of David struggles. he kept saying they wanted to Kill David also I never realized that was in there. Then he proceeded to speak and said they have tried to kill you again and again but do not lay down your mantle or your calling or anything God calls you to do because that is death... so now I am praying for strength and guidance from the Lord .... seeking his face. I am not walking away but am asking for strength to be in a place where my gifts will flow freely and be supported by leadership.,. A place where I will not feel like I have to justified my gifts in one moment and the next feel like I am to serve anyway.... a place where I have the support to move forward in all my ministry calling . this means not only my prophetic gifts when church is in session or my pastoring gifts or my intercessory gifts at key moments but all the time and encourage to grow. to be supported in all of my ministry walk including in my seminary pursuits and my other pursuit to serve those where the Lord leads. my counseling goals all of my goals that I pursue for the Lord. I gave my life up many many years ago giving the Holy Spirit full authority over me. I continue to do that. sometimes it would be nice instead of feeling I have to do more to prove myself to just have people say we see what you a re doing you are invited to be a part of those ministries we have here also.... hey its ok I know the Lord told me I will have full support for all of my ministries callings soon . He is arranging for me to be in places where people will appreciate all of who I am in him and support and encourage me assist me in continuing to do the things he place on my heart without reserve or worries about what others think or how others might perceive it.... I am not giving up any part of what he has call me to do this includes the pastoring call he place on my heart also..... ... so for all those out there who have been thinking about giving up something who just feel like it is not worth the standing or not worth it things could be so much easier if they just gave this one thing up be encourage today do not walk away but wait on the Lord do as the prophet last night said praise him continue in what he ahs call you to do trust in him he will take care of it as you continue to do those things he call you for......
Posted on: Sun, 01 Dec 2013 16:00:39 +0000
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