everyone i know must be right inculding to one i thought want me i guess i kinda knew my life would be lonely i seen when i was a child no one around i know wats me to get my son back they rather replace me with another 17 child i have.no family and no i dnt have any no related family only cause i have no one cause im not aloud to saying anything that happens but im always wrong and dont have anyone no one wants to stop talking to listen or let me finish the only one that listen is gone and feels like anymore that my destiny is to be alone idk why anymore but everyone around me make me feel worse and make my dression worse instead of trying to cheer me up the put me down and they clam i bave.no heart and no dream but i do tired of being put down and shut down im not a statue i have a beating heart and ive lost so much since the day my mom made her greatest mistake and that was haveing me to begin with cause maybe everyone i ever met and blake would have been better off but well nv know that cause i was born my whole life i was called the mistake in my family that if i wasnt born are last name wouldnt have been turned into something feared or all cops knew i quit talking to almost all my family except one cause its hard to except that the one person that susposed to nv loving you doesnt love.you and doesnt care its hard to push someone u love.and wish loved u away i jus wish i listen to my grandma and didnt trust my mom no one in zach family know why i hate.my family and dnt have them involved with my family the real reason i droped out was cause that summer before my mom told me who my real dad is and that summer after i found out i started to remember details of wat happened wen i was a child it started wen i was 5 until i was 8 wen my moms current husband thats in jail raped me and i went from have my school nd home and friends lives sepret from each other became all one i couldnt sleep couldnt eat all i could do was cry after my mom left again nd went back to c school i started cutting thats where the scares came from went to the school consler telling her i need help cause i couldnt do it alone they said theyd call my parents they nv called so i took it in to my own hands nd told my parents they didnt believe there was something wrong no one listen but i got myself into tharay they gave.me severl different types of meds all they did was make it worse my grades dropped from bs to f i only went to school once a week two days at the most until when i left my ex my sons dad nd in his anger he had his parents say to my parents that i was suicidal but i wasnt at that time and at this time my mom was back living with us that next morning at 11:26 i took 40 600mg of ibuprofen nd i had a syc apointment that day all i know is that morning i dnt know who i was anymore at 6:32 i arived at the er ive already puked up over half of my stomach line i dnt remember leaving the bathroom and going to the couch until i went back to the bathroom and looked at my dog rusty nd thought i cnt leave him here with them and i had enough atranght to tell her and all i could hear was them screaming it happened april 1 on my dads bday stayed in the hospital for 3 days i turned 17 that may the got pregnant in august with blake wasnt able to eat for 3 nd half weeks almost lost me nd my son when giving birth and then 10 months later they take blake away cause my moms dad is my birth father and cause i had postpartum depression then cause of not being able to hear my son breath i went in to depression nd stated cutting again until i met Zachary Youngs just after my 19th bday and then that september got pregnant then at 9 weeks baby died and the pain i had wen i had to go to the er was unbarable and then after reality hit that the baby was gone my son was born on the 6th so was my dead child and then in april this year i lost my grandma my dad left and my mom finaly tells me she dnt care about me and nv wanted me and im the blame for her not having anything lost my son my second baby and my grandma all in on year i know everyone is under stress thats why i nv talk i rather help them be happy then have myself be.happy i litrally hate my self and my haritige people judge me before they know me and yes the court and police already know all this
Posted on: Thu, 07 Nov 2013 19:17:01 +0000
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