for many of many years I have woke up and went to bed in pain.... I have been hit in the head I have dove into water that wasnt deep enough to wade in whether dive in yeah I was hurt ... I have been shot at bullets ringing all around me I have been stabbed , I have been cut to the point my fingers look like they will fall off. I have almost had my toes cut off... I have been working my butt off for pretty much of my life starting when I was 11, skinning calves with knives so sharp that you can cut through bones... and in all those years of the pain that I went through I have always come back stronger than ever and never let it get me down to where I didnt care anymore...... after all that I have gone through I have always bounced back and was able to ignore the pain and move on to the next challenge in my life.. then 1 crazy day and 1 stupid person changed my whole world around in a matter of seconds.... outta all the pain I have went through in my life why is it that a blow to the face can destroy everything in life that you thought was yours for the taking.. it seems everyday it just gets worse drs. cant do anything except prescribe pills .. that is their answer to everything..i have been wanting to go on vacation ,, but not sure it will be a good idea anymore cuz whatever I do I have to always keep a look out for my out, and where I will go to get away for some down time and to be alone in it. wanted to go to Arizona for a week , this week but now I am glad we didnt it would of been a nightmare for Debbie.. she wouldnt of had any fun. and pretty sure I wouldnt of either.. I look around at people in my life and I know that so many are going through things I wouldnt even dream of going through... I know what I am dealing with in my screwed up world.. and to think of all of you that are dealing with things that you may not wake up to the next day.. I am sorry for all what your having to deal with and have no clue how yall do it.. guess I am just a big baby when pains comes. I know with what all of you are going through in life and trying to survive from 1 day to the next and the pain I am sure your dealing with makes mine like a little scratch on the finger... I dont know if these will ever go away or get better but I know I dont want to become 1 of those people who are in pain so much that they quit doing anything and just become hermits. I do my best to get out and about .. I always try to keep myself busy with things to keep my mind on things other than me.so with all that I have said here... I just want you all to know if at anytime I say something to you and it sounds like I am being hurtful , or I just want you to suffer it is not what I am trying to do.. sometimes I act before I think and when I have other things on my mind I tend to get rude on my comments.. not what I am meaning to do.. love you all and never wanna see any of you hurt by my actions or words.. I do know I can be a bit out spoken sometimes.. so I just want you to know a head of time .. please forgive me if I do say somethings out of line to you or any of your friends I might just happen to talk to on here.. my goal is to be a friend to all and to be here when you need someone to talk to.. not to be that person everyone tries to avoid because Im being rude to you or your friends and family.. never crossed my mind to hurt anyone ever... ok my book is done now I am done venting or talking or explaining... ha ha have a great day yall
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 12:59:08 +0000
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