frank bells abs of steel workout step 1: get sick. not just mentally sick mind you, but full on out physically ill. don’t take your vitamins, adopt an unhealthy sleeping schedule, and eat as many unhealthy meals as possible. this works especially well if you have important dates coming up - travel plans, recording sessions, things of that sort. step 2: once you develop a small mucusy cough, just ignore it. it’s probably allergies or something right? continue to do as told in step 1. step 3: by now you should be coughing up a storm. your waste basket is full of tissue paper, and you have a game with your self to guess what color your snot happens to be. you’re laying in bed, feeling like complete and utter crapola when you look down and realize…. wait for it…. you’ve got abs of steel! how? you wonder… the gym membership that you were so eloquently conned into getting most definitely isn’t being put to use due to your viatical nature, and you certainly haven’t been using those exercise dvd’s you got at that trivia raffle. eureka! you start to realize that the only other explanation for your now washboard midsection, is from the repeated abdominal contractions caused by your now incessant cough. being sick rules! you say to yourself in a hulkish manner. you’re awake of course at 6:45am because the coughing won’t stop, sweat overcomes you, and one second you’re cold, the other burning. your brain is weaving in and out of loopy states, traveling the astral planes of the past, present, and future. you’re not sure of your surroundings at any given moment, but you know the bed never moves. you see a red ballon. a bead of sweat drips into your cup of grovestand orange juice (extra pulp) as you take a sip. you see, now all of a sudden you’re health conscious. gotta get that vitamin c! the birds are chirping. you’re sick as a dog, and even if you wanted to; you wouldn’t be able to head out to the beach/trendy-pool-party what have you. but that’s okay, you mutter to yourself while flipping your laptop screen down to get more sleep… at least i’ve got abs of steel! i promise exciting updates, as soon as i’m able to function! send soup! :-{ |fb| *The Frank Bell’s Abs of Steel Workout is patent pending. If you’re interested in learning more about this earth shattering new break through, please send $1,283.33USD to Frank Bell. Any complaints, or questions for refunds should go directly to ‘Tom’ of Myspace. frankbell.tumblr/post/175249824/abs-of-steel
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 09:47:15 +0000
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