gay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i develop two kinds of crushes the first is more pleasant, i think. more heartfelt. if weve been friends for a long time, close as close can be. and gradually feelings creep from friendship to something more, perhaps love is a strong word so ill say affection of a different kind of a more intimate kind and i suppose a more desiring kind??? a nice desire though a desire to hold your hand as childish as it may be and perhaps at some awful hour of the night when i cant quite think straight anymore for fatigue ramble on and on about the lovely things ive found about you the second isnt quite so nice. sometimes i see someone whos purely gorgeous, a stranger ive likely not even spoken to and even if we cross paths each and every day i will never have the courage to speak to you and i will simply watch from afar, admiring and possessed by thoughts of your beauty. sometimes even after ive observed long enough to see that your interior doesnt match your exterior, that your lovely hair curtains around a mind filled with unpleasant or even despicable thoughts, ill still watch from afar. and ill freeze up if youre even near, even months later. its an unpleasant rapture, really. it comes as no surprise to me that when i dream of feelings for others, its always a dream of the first sort.
Posted on: Sat, 16 Nov 2013 02:53:55 +0000
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