good day FB this is another re post it some of the things i wrote ,just so you could see my thoughts and my way of dealing with PTSD some may sound grim but they are not .they all fill me with hope for a better tomorrow. for those who seen them alright and for those who havent i hope you enjoy :) Sitting in the corner of my room in the deepest dark of night, thinking what was wrong and how I could make it right. Fighting anger and frustration with all my might, thoughts of my past haunts me like Daemons in the night. As my muscle’s tense I feel the urge to fight, but I’m subdued by a sudden glimpse, of a warming light. My body go’s limp and my mind is set at ease, as a touch on my soul by a warming gentle breeze I try to resist but I can’t compete, the feel of a presences surrounding me, I try to stand, ready for a fight Without warning a voice flows from the light, MY SON, MY SON, as those words reach my ears, my eyes began to tear. In defeat I drop to my knees, the words; I fail you my lord, please, set me free. MY SON, MY SON you have not fail because you continue to fight, I am with you morning, noon and night. In your darkest hour, just remember me and I will be that shining light that guide you free. Visions of your past, no need to be ashamed. These are the lessons of life I have etched in your brain. Never forget and live this life in vain. Trying to change yesterday will only drive you insane, so hush my child and cry no more. The Heavens watch over you with every adore. Know this when time get rough, you are not alone, in your Heart I make home. RASHAD PEACE! Finding my way home I sit at your side, holding the hand I known so well, your grip weaken by the laws of time. We talk for minutes on end then you have to catch your breath, there is a smile on your face as you tell the story of your first dress. Scenes of your child hood dance in your mind, I can tell by that grin and the twinkle in your eyes. We laugh about the time when we first met, how nervous I was and had palms that sweat, moving closer and closer I would get, my eyes on every male as if they were a threat. As you moved across the floor your beauty so deep, I couldnt let another soul steal that from me. The children we have grew up strong, now they all have families of their own and have move on. Time is getting shorter, this I can tell, and the look on your face I know it well. I lift my hand, to wipe the tears from your eyes, not realizing my own have begun to cry. You say the words “I love you and Ill be by your side”, at a loss of breath, I try, but I cant reply. Our hands become tightly entwined; I feel your lips press against mine The warmth of your breath I feel on my face as you say the words “you’re going home, you’re going home, Ill see you again one day”. Darkness over takes me, then there is light, no pain, no loneliness, no sorrow, no more fight. I hear the voices calling my name, our family and friends they all came. Our little son who never seen the light of day his love we never did get a chance to name, Granma, Granddaddy, and uncle Dave and all those who went away. To all of you I say dont be sad, I’m not alone, and in fact “I just found my way home”. Rashad PEACE ! I ‘am a man! You see, in my arm you’ll know no fear, I’ll keep you safe and your love dear I’ll always do my best to succeed, to make sure my family never wants and have what they need. Never will I down grade you, upset you, or let a person walk by and disrespect you. You see I am a man, that’s all I have ever been known to be! Showing my children the right way to be productive in life, never letting them feel hunger or a lonely night. Teaching them to be strong and too hold their heads high, when they walk down the streets and strangers pass them by. Never to judge another until they have walked in his shoes, because in this world every man processes some jewels. You see I am a man, that’s all I have ever been known to be! I’ll never play a role to impress my friends, because these are ones who want what you have and see you hurt in the end. I’ll never let a tear fall from your eyes without me there to comfort you and wipe them dry. Never will you worry when I walk the streets cause you know, it’s your love I treasure and your heart I keep. In our bed I’ll keep you warm, filling you with my love like a raging storm I will always hold our love high never neglecting you and letting you live in a world of lies Truthful, Honesty, loyalty, and respect, I will crave in my heart so that I never forget You see I’ll never let society or another man dictate to me on how I should be In your eyes you will see my glory, no need for more words let my actions tell my story You see I am a man, that’s all I have ever been known to be! Peace! RASHAD
Posted on: Mon, 04 Nov 2013 16:34:31 +0000
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