hariH Om. WHO AM I? (Part 1)- SEEKER AND THE SOUGHT --------- 1. The Seeker and the Sought Nobody loves division. Any division, psychological division for that matter, yields a cause for conflict and also a lack. When I find myself a seeker seeking something desirable, I cannot rest content being a seeker, for the sought, the desirable is away from me. The very fact that I seek is because what is to be gained is away from me, is something from which I am apart. And therefore until the sought is gained, the seeking goes on. While I seek, I apprehend a possibility of not getting what I want, and thus there is a fear. And there always are many contenders for the same end and so I have further fears. Thus a life of seeking is a life of conflicts and strifes. Once the desired end is gained- whatever be the end- for the time being the seeker and sought are no more separate. They fuse into one experience of gain; in the gain of the sought the seeker ceases to be. The cessation of seeking is what we call the experience of joy, of happiness wherein the seeker-sought fuse into one flame of fulfillment. And so it is clear: a division, a gulf, a separation, a chasm between the seeker and the sought is not something which we can brook, or happily accept. If we analyze our life and experiences, we discover that we have always been seeking one thing or the other and the “sought” is the most predominant factor in our life. Until the desired end is gained, I cannot rest content. When one end is gained, again I seek. Something else becomes the object of my desire, of my seeking. When that is gained there is for a moment relaxation, a fulfillment, a relief from sorrow, from conflict, from strife… and again there is another object in the very place where there was one before, as a “sought”. Again I seek. Thus life has been one of seeking desirable ends. What is looked upon as desirable, as very important at one time, may change, in course of time, to become an underirable thing or a thing to which I am indifferent. As a child also I had sought things; they were only play-things. As I grew up I gave up those ends and in that place I found different ends to seek. Thus the desires are changing and therefore the objects of desire also change. But one thing that does not change is the “desirer”. The desirer always remains the same In Indian music, ‘as you know’, there is a tAnpurA behind the vocalist and the tAnpurA sets the Sruti, the pitch. The singer has different rAgas, melodies to sing: now bhupAli, now bhairavI. Like this he goes on changing the melodies. Each melody has its own scales. The musician improvises new phrases of musical expression within the scales of a given melody, but when he is singing he keeps on changing the expressions. But one thing does not change and that is the Sruti, the pitch that is behind, which we do not hear when the song is being rendered. The Sruti is heard when one rAga ends and before the other begins And thus the rAgas keep on changing. There are melancholic rAgas, there are hilarious rAgas, there are absorbing rAgas, morning rAgas, evening rAgas- rAga galore. But then one thing that never changes is the Sruti behind. That goes on and on and is satisfied as even the musician is, there is an applause, clapping. Then… the rAga is concluded. There is no singing for the time being. There is silence and for a few minutes we can hear the tAnpurA that is in the background. In that hushed silence of a fulfilled rAga, we do not hear singing for the time being, but we do pick up the tAnpurA, the Sruti in the background and then afterwards the musician again renders a new rAga. The word rAga has got several meanings. rAga means a melody. rAga also means a desire, a longing. If we watch our life, we find there is one thing that is constant, like the Sruti behind and, that is, I want… I want… I want… I want. It is a constant pitch. “what” I want is a rAga; that keeps on changing. That “I want” something does not change; that is Sruti. When I was a child, I wanted marbles, balloons etc. When I grew older I wanted a bicycle, then a scooter and then a house. These are various things which keep on changing. Ragas change. When the fulfillment of a given desire takes place, we find there is a hushed silence, there is a moment of peace, joy. Call it what you will. And then I pick up the background Sruti, ‘I want… I want…’ Again I look within to see “what” I want. A new rAga is born
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 13:42:06 +0000
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