i got more to be thankful for , than not i dont need anything ....other than what i need ...when i was younger i thought i had to have a lot ..and i have had and still have a lot .. but i was never selfish and self centered or thought i was better than any body eles ,, because i knew i was;nt and never would be ... growing up poor ... i had to have 2 or 3 of the same thing because i was scared i wouldnt have them again .....and i have given more away than i ever took from anybody i have always had compassion in my heart for others and i always loved as long as somebody would let me love them my heart hurts for all the things i wish i done different ...when you grow up the way i did and have children you learn pretty quick to make a choice them or me ?i choose them i love my children of all the things i have done or have ,,, they are far more the greatest.....my love for my children from the moment i held them in my arms runs thru my whole body ..for all time ... i tried my best to let them know just how much i love them .......i made some bad mistakes but i always wanted them to feel proud god choose me as their mother when they were babies i would stay up and watch them sleep ..... because i couldnt believe they were mine ,,,, and pray every night just like i still pray for god to watch over them and to always let them know how much i loved them my children are very different as night and day one is the most amazing person you will ever be blessed to meet .... he is good and kind and has a heart filled with compassion for others....... and the other is like a hurricane waiting to land somewhere but they are mine ,,,,,, the are my greatest accomplishment in my life .....i love them more than anything in the world ....... it doesnt matter what you give them ..... or leave them when you are gone ..... the only thing they will remember is how you loved them , and made them feel .... i pray every night for them that god will keep them safe and watch over my boys and for them to love their families and children ....this past week i have been pushed as far as i can go ......i have seen and heard things that i dont understand ....i dont know what i am suppose to do do ......i have shed more tears ... and had so much hatered in my heart toward people until i am disgusted with myself ,,,,, i can not myself with this inside my heart ..... and i am a tough woman ..... i can go up against the best of them and not back down ..... i have never been whopped this bad since i was a child ..... Never i have never seen such evil in people ....i wont go back ........i looked at a person who i love with all my heart and soul and still do .. let somebody do to me what was done .....my tail might be tucked up between my tail right now ....... if i can survive this .... and it come out ....you bet i am coming back wide open because a dog does not deserve to be treated the way i was ...my mind can not comprehend it ......and that damn dog it just about makes want to puke .......
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 04:17:40 +0000
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