i live in a country where: not long after my arrival, i was taught to be, feel, look and act inferior. i was stripped of my identity and forced to create a new one. i was given food that kills me and forced to eat it and like it. my image was not good enough to represent the land of immigrants. the country i built with my blood, sweat, tears, flesh, knowledge, ingenuity and creativity remains one in which unless i am amusing, it is more difficult for me to truly be accepted and even then, it is not with the same zeal respect or regard as others from different nations. i am no longer a slave, but something worse: i do not know where i stand and so i crawl... each attempt at standing is met with a new challenge that threatens to send me back to my original post as a slave. BLACK PEOPLE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY WHO HAVE EVER BEEN AND CONTINUE TO BE AT RISK OF NOT BEING CONSIDERED TOTALLY HUMAN. yet we are met with others who do not know that our plight made it possible for them to exist here. i get little respect in the land where i live and i love no land for this is not my own and i have been gone from home so long until my brother does not know me, so he does not accept me as he once did. while others die to get here, my sons and daughters died trying not to. yet here we are, needing to make due and find joy within as tragedy outweighs triumph and the revelation that our lives have no value in comparison to others around us. yet we smile, yet we serve, yet we teach a brighter day. this is not easy and all the pangs have numbed me to the point i only feel piercing, twisting, heart ripping pain and the small slices get ignored. if i wake up, when i wake up, will you help me as i have helped you? i doubt it since you see me, but choose to only feel and know yourself. this was my teaching to you since the beginning of time and you learned so well until i hurt from the loneliness of expecting you to grow and heal with me,watching my plight, continuing to learn from me. instead you have chosen to live as if i never existed and speak of me as if the pangs i took the brunt of did not benefit you..I will get through/ over and fix this myself... AFTER ALL, I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN THE BEST AT SNAPPING BACK BETTER THAN BEFORE. i remember who i am, and whether anyone believes it or not, you are me...muah!
Posted on: Sun, 14 Jul 2013 08:29:09 +0000
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