if you are still in my friend list, you are kinda special for me, or somehow I thought you love me, or at least I THOUGHT…I have already filtered mine friend list, from 600+ to 143. i deleted everyone over there who never meant me a friend, only HY HELLO doesn’t simply makes anyone friends, ( and mamta taught me that, all credit goes to mamta ). And likes and comment? Who cares? At least I don’t. …but there are few persons in my friend list who never loved me, who never will to talk to me, or simply take me for granted …but I couldn’t delete them, I think that what love is called. I want to love them despite of the fact that I will never be loved back, everything I can do is wish that someday they will wake up and feel how much I loved them, but I think that day will not come before I die. Finally when we will will grow up, somehow we will realize that quantity doesn’t matter; only quality does. The no. of friends isn’t a big deal, what you are to them is something considerable. 4800 friend on facebook, 2100 follower on twitter, 8000 subscriber on YouTube, 40 on your marriage, 4 during hard time, 2 at your funeral, …and all alone in the grave. That’s raw life, that’s reality. Making million friend isn’t necessary, making a friend who would lose a million for you is real gain. And in some point you will suddenly wake up and find out that you were living it all wrong…same I found. As we grow up, we don’t lose friend, we only do realize who the true one is. Not havin’ thousands of friend won’t make you lonely, rather it will make you wise, you will get time to spend with yourself, for better understanding of own self . Be friend with yourself, and you will never be lonely. And in the same instant you will realize who will lose it all for you, and who will move on without you. Here, in HICAST, I am havin’ only one friend, and about whom also I am not sure if she really mean me friend, at least I am not sure now, time will show everything. I have maintained a noticeable distance from every guys and gals in hicast. I don’t mean they are not nice persons. They are much better than I had expected…but it isn’t always necessary that you have to build a good relation with every good person you will encounter. Sometime you have to walk away, just like you don’t care, no matter how adorable they are. There are 4 guys and gals who would be my closest friend, if it was padmodaya…but unluckily, its HICAST… Everything I can do is to control myself and stay away from them,no matter whatever my heart want to. after all I am nothing more than a illusion in HICAST, and living illusion. …but the hardest part about acting so unfriendly is ACTING. Padmodaya and hicast? The different in me in these two institutions is not describable… But everything I know is, they saw me exactly the same way I made them to see. I am the master of my life Anyone from HICAST can’t simply imagine me like the way I was in padmodaya…They think me as a talented very shy full or ego full person who always want to be alone, and who simply doesn’t smile or talk. They don’t have any idea what I was in padmodaya. Padmodaya ma sap bhanda friendly maniney kta, yeha sab bhanda ghamandi and unfriendly ma ganinxa, teha jati bela ni hasney ramailo garney kta yeha smile dina ni garo manxa. In padmodaya, they used to say “KATI HASXAU YAAR JATI BELA NI,KAHELAY KAHI TA SERIOUS HUNAY GARA”.and here, in hicast, they says “KAHELAY KAHI HASNEY PANI GARA NA YAAR, HEALTHKO LAGI RAMRO HUNXA” or “MA MANXE KHATRA HO K, AJA SANDESHLAI HASAYE MAILE” … ….testo vanya sunda ta jhan kya haso lagxa but kahelay hasdina, coz sojho or ghamandi image ta maintain garnai paryo… but haso rokna last garo hunxa yaar.padmodaya ma sano sano kura ma ni aru section lai ni disturb hunay gari hasney manxe yeha smile pani nagarda kati garo vako hola malai… Padmodayama kahelay kahi halla nagari basey, aru section ma gayera nabasey,nahasey ARE U OKEY? vaneyra sodhthye…but yeha? I am sure, yedi ma ekdin smile gardai class vitra 6irey pani, or kohi sanga handshake garey pani HICASTian haru ARE YOU OKEY? Vaneyra sodhneyxan, aru ta thadako kura… …vaney paxi jst imagine ksto image garako xu hola ma hicastma? Aajha ekjana lay TIMI TA KAHELAY BOLDA NI BOLDINAU ,HALLA GARYA NI SUNYA XOINAU, JATI BELA NI PADHEYRA BASXAU vanthye… ani REAL TALENT pani ray ma ta :D last sojho and talent po manxan malai HICASTma. :D Ekchoti padmodaya janu parxa tniharu, shock lageyrai morxan kya ho jsto lagxa malai ta, mro reality thaha payera. … no one from here can’t simply know anything about me or my past…but there is a RISK. I fear that the most.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Dec 2014 09:28:27 +0000
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