its a very long story so plz hav sum patience..im waiting for ur suggestions... I m 19 female…my story is basically a story of two teenagers who are trapped btw their love family responsibilities n this so call “duniya”… Well the story begins 7 months ago when my best frend confessed his love 4 me…I hv been knwing him 4rm 1yr at dat tym…he was a guy with ordinary looks but a golden heart..i trusted him blindly..bt due to my (reserved )family I said a no to him…tried to explain him all the problms..related 2 family ,future,studies..bt he didn’t give up n ultmatly after 1 month I give in …at dat tym I was nt even sure about my own feelings bt I was knwing 1 thing that he meant a lot to me n I cnt aford to lose him…as dayz passed on my feelings for him grow stronger and stronger and within 2 months I was madly in love with him..i dnt knw what I liked about him may b everything..his caring nature..responsible atitute…helping behavior.. he made me feel loved and special all the time... everything was going smooth…we had vaccations and didn’t met each other for a month.. we were dieing to meet each other…and just after vaccations when we met it was my bday and he made it bestest bday for me… bt life cant b so smooth for any1…just after this best time sumthing worst happened and a storm dat destroyed our relation striked our lives in form of a rumor… dat we were doing pda in our college and there is a vedio of that… we were like how could sum1 do this…n how could people belive and spread whatever they here..dere was no vedio bt rumors were der (we were not in any oficial relationship only 2 or three frendz were knwing about it…it was comitment of hearts not words…)due to all this roumers..we were heartbroken…our love was pure not based upon any atraction…we used to love each other lyk hell bt we were living lyk best frendz we were not bf gf…after this incident evrything changed.. no 1 dared to say anything on my face about whatever happened… bt guyz used to coment on his face like”bhai maje kar liya ya baki hain etc etc”…he couldn’t bear such comments about me n al this compeled us to stay away 4rm each other in college….and eventualy coz of all this he got very negative about relation..he tried nt 2 tell me wht he was facing due to this incident…bt I know his ego was getting hurt by al dis…and it really sucks when u r punished for doing wht u havnt done…we were left helpless… (IT IS VERY EASY TO SPREAD THE RUMORS ABOUT SUM1 BT.. THE PERSONS WHOSE CHARACTER IS QUTIONED KNWS HOW IT FEELS ..PLZ THINK BEFORE U SPEAK U NEVER KNW HOW IT CAN DESTROY LIVES) coz of al this frustration misundrstandings kept on growing between us and one day on a very small issue he said he dnt love me anymore…he said his love for me has now finished…I cried day and night…I just wanted to knw how could sum1 who loved me dis much can hurt me like this…he gave me hundreds of excuses which broked me completely…n when I tried to stop him 2 talk to me he pulled his hand in front of another girl and went out with her(about whum he told me ncedat she was after him)and after dat my friendz told me dat after our fight he usualy stay with her for most of time and she being a despo usuly tries to hold his hand and get close 2 him…he was hurting me daily ignoring me and I was caught in a sitution where I was not knowing whther he loves me or not…I was feeling dat I hv lost him..i was insecure ..and due to all dis I busted al my anger on him n said those things which I never meant…al this caused a damage beyond repair..he thought I dnt trust him..i didn’t undrstand him… bt do u think 1 can keep calm ?when the whole world and sitution is against sum1 ..and dat person is kiling u by his silence n stupid xcuses…u may ignore the world bt how would u ignore the change that u r witnesing in a persons behvr…u can keep your ears shut to the words of world bt not to the words and actions of 1 whum u love the most…after this he also hurted me a lot by his words and actions… after al this problms kept on growing..later on he realized that I love him truly bt now he says he dnt feel the same… I m feeling frustrated n m dieng day and night….nw from a month v tried to b just frend bt we were nt able to… coz I love him a lot…we both miss those dayz when v used to b happy… I knw he still loves me I could see it in his eyes whenevr he is alone with me… bt due to this whole situtn.. his bad expernce of past…no scope about futre beng together…he wants to stay away 4rm me…. He cares 4 me…sumtimes he says he is fuked up by life and want to run away 4rm here..i also feel the same..many tyms I say I just want to die… He says he was in the same situtn in past when his x gf cheated him…so he knws wht I m going through..he says I will become very strong after it… bt the fact is I m dieing daily…it has made me soo weak that tears comes out of my eyes whenever I remember the tym which v spend together…I hv lost all my trust… how can a person change like this…??? Sumtimes I feel he is also a victim of situtn wheras at other times I feel as if he has played with my feelings…nw he says u were nt my gf ealier he was like comitment dil se ati hai jab pyar hota hai… ab use care restrctn lagti hai…mai bolti thi family ki future ki tab kabhi ni suni ab use duniya ki tensn hoti hai…kyu…hamesha jo mann mai aye vo desn le lena ,,kbhi samne wale ki feelings ki parwh na krna is it ryt ??? N nw 1 day I reched my home 2 hrs late n my phone was switched off..due to all this he thought if I had not done sumthing with me n he got tensed n told his parents abt me ,how much I dnt knw….why he told them evrythng cause of fear of losing me I knw…bt he sayz coz of fear of legal action…I knw the truth bt still his words hurts me…bt now his parents have taken his phone… he has lost their trust..his parents hv asked him not to have any contact with me…due to whtevr has happened I knw his freedom will b taken away by his family….and he will b burdened by responsblities of family bussines along with his graduation…I knw how frustrated he would b feeling now bt I cant talk to him… wht was my mistake…??? To give in and fall for him coz he was nice n loved me??Those rumors coz of which v were nt able to give tym to each other ??? his ignorence?? His decision to stay away 4 so many dayz that his feelings changed or he became strng enough to pretend as if he is nt afected by me???his regid bhvr by which he thinks alwayz gud 4 me bt never let me take any desn…??? I knw healwayz took desions for hapines of both of us bt is nt ready 2 b happy togther….i knw he also gets hurt bt he is strong enough to handle himself..he cries for me bt became strong after dat bt I cry n became more weak.. I m feeling soo helpless… I dnt want him to go against his parents will so I hv decided nt to call or msg him again…bt it is killing me 4rm inside….i m dieng daily…I m not able to concentrate on my studies…I m missing him like hell… even after whtevr has happened I love him a lot infact more than when v were together…I knw he also miss me..we love each other a lot bt circumstances have killed our relation and now we wont be able to smile anymore…life seems worse than death..after this expernce we wont b able to trust life anymore… if even 1 person is wrong then we can think choice was wrong… bt here the choice was ryt..feelings were real..bt then also we ended like this..i know I cant get him back..this pain v have to bear.. bt plz tell me how can I get his smile back…i want to see him happy …
Posted on: Fri, 29 Nov 2013 14:04:39 +0000
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