jezebel/the-united-states-of-bros-a-map-and-field-guide-1550563737 The Manhattan Bro Uniform: Blue button down shirt, grey or black work pants, nice leather Big Time Job Shoes. Good hair. Intoxicant: Beer/Adderall. Habitat: The office (theyre all investment bankers), or the bar down the street from the office that is filled with other bros who have identical jobs and identical wardrobes, or the biggest table at a popular but expensive steak house in Brooklyn during the after work hours. Bathroom stalls that lend themselves well to the blowing of lines. Hobbies: Over-identifying with the really over-the-top scenes from Wolf of Wall Street. Stealing cabs. Eventually marrying women named Claire, and then divorcing her for a woman named Madison (who is 23). Yelling. Secret shame: Feels bad about small penis. Celeb brospiration: Alec Baldwin punching a guy The Masshole Uniform: Polo shirt, backwards BoSox cap, white Adidas shoes. Shamrock tat. That. Accent. Habitat: Dive bars. Fenway. Massive L-shaped couch in a white-walled apartment. Hobbies: Driving like an aggressive dick, throwing around homophobic insults like its the early 90s. Secret shame: They feel very little shame. Celeb brospiration: The Wahlberg brothers
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 21:00:03 +0000
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