last night I had a vivid dream. In this dream, I was at church. Standing next to me was my mom. In real life, my mom was abusive both physically and verbally/emotionally. She just couldnt love because she was bi-polar and was never treated for it as she refused to be. So I dealt with it as best I could. I stopped seeing her as soon as I was 18. I just couldnt take the abuse any longer. She passed away in 2007. I did go to her bedside...and I forgave her. As I sat in that nursing home room, she was unconscious, but I wanted to pray with her anyway. A nun with whom I had just visited had given me a St Benedict medal on a chain that I was wearing, so that chain/medal dangled over her as well. As I sat down, I felt a warm peace come over me. I cried bitter tears about why I couldnt have had a real mom all of my life. I had missed out on so much. As I got up to leave, I looked and there on the closet door was a small portrait of Our Lady Of Guadalupe. I was stunned! I didnt see that coming in. (Her roommate was Catholic, I didnt know that either. Mom was a Jehovahs Witness). No wonder I had felt that peace come over me...I was being watched! The last few days though, I have been thinking about mom....I am 51 years old and realizing how fleeting life can be. So in my dream from last night, my mom was standing next to me in church. The Catholic church. And she looked at me and said, peace be with you! I remember being stunned in this dream because we didnt walk in together, then she was just there! She said she would meet me outside, yet when I went out, she was gone. I dont want to draw inferences, but can it be that God is letting me know that she has been forgiven and is now in heaven? I do understand about purgatory....I have been saying prayers for those who are there...perhaps she was finally released...? One must keep the faith, I am thinking.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 13:53:22 +0000
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