{ long one. ignore if you want. but you will miss the experience } #166 Pro Male 21 Kolkata "Hello everyone. This will be my first confession if it gets posted. I used to be a very true believer of love but in the end, it doesn’t even matter coz life found its way to teach me how the world really is. I am not originally from this city. I was born in Assam, a peaceful and very beautiful place where I spent the major part of my childhood. Tarpor jokhon Kolkata aslam 10th er finals dewar por, I realized life is completely different here. The crowd, the rush, everyone is in a hurry. Jai hok, so I settled down with my joint family here, began my 11th classes in the new school. I never had any girlfriend in my life before. Hae, female friends onek e chilo coz I believe I have a pleasant personality (that’s why I was mostly friendzoned ;-) bhai baniye ditto :P ) And yes I did propose for the first time in my life in class 1 :D Yes, you see it right, Class 1. Actually it was a slip of tongue….she was a nice friend. Nursury theke class 1 obdi amra same bench e bostam, khb golpo kortam. 1999 e ‘Kuch kuch hota hai’ release hoyechilo. Baba tokhn new new CD player kinechilo tai CD rent e ene dekhechilam sobai. Sei thekei hoyto mathaye ‘I LOVE YOU’ kothata dhukechilo kochi boyos e :P but she left the school 3 days later after I said it :’( Ok, returning to the main subject, class 12e English tuition join korlam. Kono dorkar chilo na tao coz teacher jor korchilen nite :/ There is where I meet her (for protection of identity, lets call her Miss. A), gorgeous, fair, divine beauty I must say. But honestly, I didn’t have any feelings for her in the beginning. She came with another friend of her who was my classmate. Dujon e besh golpo kora start korlo amar sathe. Later they asked for my number. Diye dilam. I was too innocent at that time. Both of them used to text me…sometimes late at night….ami casually reply kortam. 1 week later Miss. A texted me that she wanted to talk to me privately, tai tuition er 1 hour age station aste. I was secretly happy coz I knew something was up. Finally I was going to propose a girl for the first time for real. She came, we chatted for a while, finally she asked me if I had any feelings for her. I was delighted. Etto years dhore jei line gulo ready kore rekhechilam mone, seta bollam. I still remember them, “The road of life is indeed a long one, but along the way I think have found the perfect person to spend my life with, so I wish to ask you, Do you love me as much as I love you?” She looked into my eyes and ek kothaye ‘YES’. Yes, that was one of the happiest experiences of my life. Kichui bujhtam na ekta relationship e ki ki hoye. Late night phone calls, 30 mins por por sms kora, date e jawa, kichui idea chilona amar. But my love was very true, I was ready to give up my life for her. 1 week por movie dekhte gelam ‘Kites’. Luck chilo na fate janina, ekdom corner seat ta porlo. Puro movie over hoye gelo ses e hath dhorar sahos korlam. Kissing etc korar kotha toh mathaye aseni. Bhabtam puro life toh ache esob korar, let the love grow first. That night she texted me “I am really surprised, tui aj kichu korlina keno” I was like :O . ekta meye nujer bf ke ei kotha bolche. Generally its just the opposite. 4-5 weeks passed, by then she realized I was no good at being physically involved, always love er e kotha boltam. Tai hoyto separate korar jonno jhogra kora start korlo out of petty reasons. Amar 12th er studies o khb hamper hocchilo, emniteo commerce e pure maths niye fose chilam. But I didn’t wish to let her go, I wished the 1st relationship to be my last, that’s the true love that I wished for. But finally I came to know that she actually had a permanent bf in her neighbourhood, I was just a …….ki bolbo janina….entertainment maybe or a Prize bola jaye coz she later confessed that they had a bet, she and her friend, ki ke age amaye pabe. Now that’s really ridiculous coz their fckin bet caused me a lot of pain and waste of valuable time. Jai hok, break up korlam. Tao kotha boltam. Studies er condition bhalo chilona tao life ta khb empty lagto. That’s when I met Miss T. 3 years younger, class 9 e porto, ami 12th. Sweet, very naughty, not as beautiful as Miss A. But I believe she really had a better heart. Bus stand e amaye last 6-7 months theke observe korto. I had no idea. Girls school e porto… bus khb bhir hole amaye cycle e lift kore dite bolto. I was delighted…lil girl….i will love you till the end. That’s when ek ek kore sob sikhlam or theke, meeting up after her tuitions, phone s*x, what girls really like and want from a man(physically) aro onno onek jinish that should be in a norman relationship. Kono somoye character less kotha bolto but still I loved her blindly. She belonged to a financially weak family, working mom and wife-beater drunk dad. Tai hoyto I felt very protective towards her. Recharge kore ditam, phn kine dilam, and many other things that I don’t wish to boast about.…..4 months kete gelo ei bhabei…..Had my first kiss with her, enchanting feeling. She finally said that she wanted to be physically involved with me. I got nervous…bollam ‘please after marriage esob kotha bolo… akhn esob bhaba thik na’. she said ‘keno ki hobe, ajkalkar jomanaye I pill, condom onek kichu ache, kichu hobena’. But I really didn’t wish to do it. ei kore jhogra suru holo…eventually break up. I was shattered. March theke finals start hobe and it was january. Kichui ready hoyeni. Ses mesh je korei hok exam dilam. Managed to get 70% and that was the end of school life. Finally friends, there is still more that I want to say that happened after that but ryt now I want you all tell me, Was it right for them to destroy my life like this? Generally bola hoye je chelera khb casual hoye love er bepare……but look what believing in true love did to me. After all this should I still believe in love… "
Posted on: Tue, 02 Jul 2013 04:37:51 +0000
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