ok so I was really going through it all day yesterday! I could not focus on anything and the whole family day thing really messed with me. I miss my kids more than anything and seeing all these girls with their families got really depressing for me! It is obvious to people that I live for the Lord and I could not even focus on Him last night I was mean and hateful with some and really did not mean to! I acted like the world owed me something last night when it is really nobodies fault that I am here but my own! So I asked God to relieve me of my frustration and anger! I woke up this morning and started my daily routine and nonchalantly asked God for some words of wisdom! I opened the book that my wonderful mother sent to me and I had been reading for a while and this is how God spoke to me!!!!! The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior[ who saves]; He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [ in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [ of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exalt over you with singing. God confirmed for me this morning that I do not need to worry and that even though I was stuck in self pity yesterday over all the things I had done in my past to get me to where I am not able to see my children and family that I am forgiven by Him for all of it! That I will be seeing my family soon and my depression and worries will be no more in His time!!! I have been saying that God speaks to us all in ways only our individual selves can understand and I just wanted to share with all my loved ones how God works in my life! I now have complete faith and understanding that Gods plan for me is to make sure that I am ready to go back out into the world and strong enough to be able to be a mother to those babies!!! I will not ever have the ability to give them the love they deserve if I can not love myself first!
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 11:53:16 +0000
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