personal history, thursday, march 3, 1994: hi. so. god, i need a reason to go on! its all so futile! i need something to keep me keeping on. im so depressed!! march isnt enough, barbie isnt enough, richie f---ing samboring isnt enough! future fame as a writer isnt enough...i need something right now! i mean, soon! i just cant go on like this much longer!! its so hard and so damn useless! i cant do it much longer, no not much longer...and anyway, whod miss me, really? whod care? whod cry? my parents would just clear out my room, rob and na would divvy up the tapes they liked, my nieces would get my dolls, and the rest of my precious possessions, the sum and so far total of my existence? why, fuel for a fire! all my poems, stories, my journal and letters---fire food! yeah. well, whatever! more later! good evening!! woke up, went to work, dull. got X-men comics. dude, mystique is mommy to nightcrawler! she tried to kill him when he was a baby...! dream--me, vince, nicky (Weaver Nicky), a shootout. i was at some payphone, placing an order for our lunch when the shootout began. later, in a restaurant, me mom and na. na was pregnant. she started to choke, no-on knew the heimlich so to the hospital. at the hospital and someones little brown baby with a crooked spine. she had to be straightened out. she cried and was cold a lot but talked like crazy. thats all. so, tomorrow!
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 03:11:13 +0000
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