shit! totally posted these two in the wrong order. this one happened first: Day 302: “Yeah I got faith, but sometimes fear just weighs too much” – Social Distortion. Never in my life were those lyrics more applicable than they were yesterday. An hour after writing my last post (the one saying I was heading for the Darien within the hour), I got dressed, prepared my bike for the road, checked out of my hostel, and headed for the road. I then turned around, brought my bike back inside, and paid $15 for an air conditioned room. I told the girls at reception that it was supposed to rain that day, it was already 100 degrees, and I was still hung over from the night before. And while those were all true statements, the excuse itself was a lie. I hadn’t left because I was scared. I wasn’t scared of one particular thing. It wasn’t the rabies-infected vampire bats, venomous snakes, jaguars, poisonous reptiles and insects, crocodiles, or carnivorous fish that inhabit the region that made me uncomfortable. It wasn’t the Columbian terrorists groups, drug traffickers, and other criminals that live there (although it had just been on the news that 350 lbs. of pure coke were seized in a deadly gun battle the night before in that very region). Of course these all bothered me to some extent, but what bothered me most was that I was without support. Up to this point, almost everybody I told of my plans said that I was crazy and I would likely get robbed, lost, kidnapped, or worse. It seemed nobody had faith in me, and I had begun to lose faith in myself. So I crawled into my bed, drew the curtains, and spent the entire day sleeping with the sheets pulled over my head. To make matters worse, I had already posted that I was leaving within the hour, and now I was too embarrassed to make a post stating that I had in fact not yet left (and that I wasn’t sure I even would). Fast forward to 8 o’clock this morning: I woke up refreshed, but still unsure how I would cross the Darién. Then I checked my FB. I saw the many comments from those who had read my last post – comments of support and of faith. I then realized that maybe I COULD do this. If others who know me well have faith in me, then why shouldn’t I have faith in myself? I also realized that were I to head to the Darién, I would NOT be going alone. I have my mechanical support team (Matt S, Brian and Blakely M, Stephen B, Sue and Mark, Rachelle and Steve M, Frankie F, and the brothers Ranvestel) who provided me with a new drivetrain for the rest of my ride. I have my motivational support team of everyone who wished me well the day before. And I knew that if I headed for the Darién by bike, I would have each and every one of you with me – some shouting from the side of the road (or jungle trail), some riding right along with me. So with a sudden sense of urgency I got dressed, scarfed down some pancakes, and ran out the door. I headed east – where the morning sun had already risen over the distant mountains. I came upon the docks with their boats headed for the Darién. I rode straight past them. I wouldn’t be needing them today.
Posted on: Mon, 02 Dec 2013 21:04:50 +0000
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