*sigh* conversations lately are making me realize just how much trouble Im having standing up for what I think and feel. Every time I talk to someone, Im arguing with myself that Im wrong for what Im feeling or thinking because theyre disappointed in it, or disagree with me, or because other people are uncomfortable with it. I must not telegraph this uncertainty in myself well, because this is not the first time Ive felt like absolute shit because someone elses psyche didnt agree with what I was doing or how I handled something. That said, this IS probably the first time Ive ever been able to look at that directly and say While I can admit Im not you, and Im handling this differently, Im sick to death of feeling bad for everything I think or say. Anyone who knows me, knows by now that none of my actions are intended to hurt others. Its time people start either taking that to heart, or understanding that Im going to have to stop giving a damn so much. I cant keep feeling like Im a terrible person because they disagree with me, and I wont. I am who and what I am. I have some weird ideas. Some people both on the more conservative, and on the more liberal side of me may not agree. I dont want anyone to hurt over my ideas. But I will be goddamned if Im going to let myself hurt anymore because something in the back of my head thinks I ought to for disagreeing with someone.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 11:17:31 +0000
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