so everyone wants to know why i left the church. I left because of a few reasons. My ward is full of nice people but if you want them to be nice to you and be your friend you need to be like them or you need to fulfill there standards. sorry YSA 15th ward that im not a RM. sorry im not tall and good looking. sorry im not athletic. sorry im not musically talented. sorry im not some cool college kid. sorry im different. please dont tell me im one of you but the instant i say or do something thats different you sweep me under the rug. i dont feel comfortable sitting in the class. i get paranoid. you know this so why do you bully and harass me into going into the classes. you tell me that i need to put myself out there. it would be a great idea if you would actually include me when i show up to talk with you. it would be great if you would include me. I would go to a family ward but i tried that for abit and everyone was giving me dirty looks because i wasnt to normal LDS member. i didnt serve a mission and im not married. so where am i supposed to go if im not welcomed in a singles ward or a family ward? i know not all LDS people are like this. I even asked a couple of missionaries a few days ago how they like serving in utah and they dont like it because they wanted someplace bigger and out of the states. so even the missionaries arent doing what god asks. im also curious about why god sees fit to punish people who do there best and who are amazing people but scum bags and monsters get blessed. now i understand one problem every now and again is a trial. i can accept that. i dont understand how bad things can happen to good people in rapid fire. without time to get started on fixing the last problem. i tried praying to god and i was ignored. there was no safe feeling there was no peace. god wasnt there in some of the hardest trials in my life. im not saying he ignores everyone but he sure has a good time tuning me out. when god ignores me i try to go to the people i though i could go to and not any better. no one wants to let me talk. no one wants to know whats wrong. im expected to listen for hours about the current trials. the instant i go to them if i can get a hold of them how ever im pushed under the rug. i dont have the hardest life i know, but i would like some comfort. im annoyed that the only friend i feel like i actually have is my laptop. i get treated like im a disease in the church. there was no where to go. there was no one who wanted to listen. now i drink beer and smoke.
Posted on: Mon, 05 Aug 2013 01:13:59 +0000