so, you all know my story, my husband Jim, has been gone nearly two years. The first year, I was in shock and shame and hid. This year, I fought back and shed the shame but suffered in other ways. It has been HARD in so many ways that I cant truly share, but suffice it to say there are degrees of hard and mine feels like somewhere between the selfish petty things we think are hard, but only show us our immaturity and the hard that brings us to a crossroads of ending our life or laying it all at Gods feet. Even that seems an understatement. My word for 2015 was freedom. Freedom didnt happen in the ways I envisioned in my head, but freedoms did come. What I lost in 2014 was joy, so that is my word for 2015. I know in my heart I must go on a quest- The Life and Death Tour, which I intend to begin next summer. Finding life in the death that was my life. I plan to travel America alone, meeting people, talking to them. Learning their stories and sharing mine. I have no idea who I will meet, what I will have to dig deep to manage my way or if I will feel a sense of completion when I am done. I only know that it is my time. I am the most ready I have ever been to do this and the most open to receiving whatever it is I will learn. That is a good start, right? Today, I gave an assignment to my VIP clients. To go and watch the movie Wild. I hope to awaken in them something. Stir their pots and get them to consider who they are, what they want and what it might take to get back to the center of who they want to be. I will be the woman sitting in the movie today alone, with some popcorn and a blanket on New Years eve watching someone do what I intend to do. Be brave and take a risk to become a better version of who I already am and to sort out the pieces of this huge life-puzzle. If you are in a dark space, I challenge you to watch this movie too. Be Epic. Find Joy. Hugs fandango/wild_175034/movieoverview
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 20:36:47 +0000
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