something i was thinking today, was that i dont really/regularly consciously experience feelings of, or that i identify as, love, and happiness, relating to the existence of other people. because of the wildly erratic and intense nature of my thoughts and emotions, i have had to learn to relegate these expressions to a less cognitive part of my self. but i also thought, i am not unhappy, and even if it doesnt blip on my radar, i AM happy, and, comparative to how i have been in recent years, sane. i got home, and the answer became obvious. throughout, despite, all of my rampant and vividly tumultuous self that i have put them through, Bethany Harris and Byron Bearfist Evans have persevered to understand, and love me. they have given me a home, and a family, and anchored me against the storms my reality has brought to bear against me. their acceptance of and belief in me is a massive part of how i have learnt to be at peace with and accept myself. i dont think about it, because i know it, as a foundational truth of my being, that i love them, that they are important to me, in a way that few are. its my hope that i can love them as well as they have loved me. and Nathaneals alright too, i guess
Posted on: Sun, 05 Oct 2014 07:28:43 +0000
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