stand up for yourself, no one will do it for you this could be lengtly but i hope may mapulot kayo kahit katiting na aral :P ako yung tipo ng babae na ang taas ng tingin ng mga tao. i am considered as the familys pride. given that panganay sa magkapatid, panganay, sa 7 magpipinsan (moms side) at 3 magpipinsan (dads side.) moreover, when it comes to the people who knows me, they look at me as a valiant woman, full of pride, empowered, who can stand up whatever downfalls might come to me. i could say that its innate in me that people asks me for advices, lalo na kung usapang uplifting, cheer me up things. its been a year since a huge challenge has invaded my life. sabay sabay. as in. i thought of na sana kunin na ni God ang buhay ko. lame but true. let me tell tho in a fast forward manner. october 2013, it all started. i wronged my parents. i dont want to give full details, but it has something to do with my studies. i cant blame them for being mad at me because after all they have done and doing to me ganun lang ginawa ko. i wasnt able to handle the problem i admit it. november 2013 when i found out na may post traumatic stress pala ako. bukod sa my parents decided me to give a sanction (not to enroll me on second semester) my doctor also adviced me to stay at home, more like of a rehab. may magagawa ba ako, eh di tanggapin. sleepless nights, nightmares, yung nanyari napapaginipan ko. minsan ayoko ng matulog, dahil alam ko mananaginip lang ako ng masama. walang gabi na hindi ako lumuha. can you imagine you are staying in one roof with your family but they cant even speak a word to you? kakausapin ka pag importante lang. i felt like i was really in a rehab. checking my facebook gave me a lot of insecurities dahil nakikita ko mga kakilala ko. i decided to deactivate my real one and created a poser that my ka MU only knows so we could communicate. december 2013. 8th of december when may ka MU dropped into my house suddenly. ini stalk niya pala ang bahay namin, when he saw na i was watering the plants sa garage. he said pssst... gave me a present and said i cant resist of not seeing you.. that night i confessed to him that i was diagnosed with PTSD, nagulat siya malamang. 15th of december when he told me he doesnt want me in his life. left me with no apparent reason. he just said that. telling him i will fight for us, bahala daw ako. 19th, exactly one year na ngayon, i decided to give my consent as well of letting him go (inaantay niya kasi yung consent ko na pakawalan siya). tuwang tuwa naman ang ogag. ano na? saan na ko lulugar? halos gumuho na ang mundo ko. depressed na nga ako dumagdag pa siya. btw si ka MU lang ang nakakaalam ng situation ko. literally i havent slept for 3 days. na ospital ang lola niyo dahil sa anxiety attack. may conflict na sa parents iniwan pa ng minamahal. every night im praying for Gods help. i even told Him im tired, wag niyo na po kong gisingin bukas. january 2014 sinalubong ko ang new year ng malungkot. kahit nasa reunion ako at masaya ang buong family and relatives (sa parents at kapatid ko lang ang nakakalam kasi ng rehab status ko). ang maskalap, 8 days na lang birthday ko na. what do you expect? plastic happiness. cinelebrate ang birthday ko, behind my back malungkot pa rin ako. marami man akong greetings and i tried to be happy still i cant. june 2014 bumalik ako ng school. as a changed person. mahirap oo pero bumangon ako. good thing i conquered the semester. at least kahit papaano nakabawi ako sa mga magulang ko. but then i know still they are not complacent that i may do the same mistake again. pero i kept on telling myself one day you will be proud of me. makakalimutan din nila yung ginawa kong kapalpakan sa pag aaral ko. o ayan new year is approaching, tapos birthday ko na. i want my upcoming to be memorable, medyo miserable yung last year. lol. memorable, i am not craving material things. admittedly i still remember that misery, but i look at it as a remainder to stay motivate. konting tiis na lang magiging proud na sila. ako din, masasabi ko na rin na im proud of myself eventually. recently, after a year of longing for truth nalaman ko na pinusta lang pala ako nung dati kong ka MU. masasabi ko, lumaban ako kahit mahirap. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, NO ONE WILL DO IT FOR YOU. bella cullen 2012 Adamson University
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 12:46:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015